The Joy of Christmas

As I have been gift-shopping, wrapping presents, and just driving around and soaking in the Christmas season, a song has captured my attention. The song is called "Merry Christmas, Here's to Many More," performed by Relient K, from their Let It Snow Baby... Let it Reindeer album.

What hooked me in to this song is the song's concept. Singer/songwriter Matt Thiessen wrote this about a year that was a very rough year for him. The idea of the song is how life can be very hard, but Christmas brings joy to our lives, despite our circumstances.

The year of 2013 was a rough year for me. And the more I reflect and look back, I realize how important Christmastime was to me last year. And it is a very important time for a lot of people.

As a kid, I remember how excited I got over buying and wrapping presents, drinking hot chocolate, picking out a Christmas tree, decorating our Christmas tree, putting up lights, opening presents, singing Christmas carols, and watching Christmas movies. I remember how I could not wait for Christmas Day, and how I would count down the days. Now that I'm 20, I can't say that I have the same level of excitement. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas, and I find myself very jolly during the holiday season doing all of these same pastimes, but it doesn't quite hype me up as much as it used to.

I think that a lot of people my age have this same feeling. It's just a part of growing up. But while Christmas may no longer feel the way it did as a kid, at least not to the same extent, Christmas means more to me now more than ever before in my life.

Why is that? Perhaps a part of it is that I don't live at home anymore. I live in Wisconsin now for 9 months of the year. Part of the excitement now is the "I'll Be Home For Christmas" excitement. As bad as things were for me in that semester, and in that year, I had coming home to look forward to.

The holiday season is a wonderful time for us to escape the chaos in our lives for a couple of weeks, eat some good food, and focus on the great things that we have in our lives. Like friends and family. I felt very lonely at school in my first semester last year, and being home completely eliminated that feeling from my life. I had friends waiting for me with open arms. I had Christmas to celebrate with my family. Going back to that Relient K song, I think they put it best with the lyrics:

So look at me now
It's finally Christmas and I'm home
Head indoors to get out of this weather
And I don't know how but the closest friends I've ever known are all inside
Singing together
Singing, "Merry Christmas, here's to many more!"

The love we receive from our friends and family is truly a blessing. However, as unbelievable as it may sound, there is a love that is even stronger than theirs: God's love. Throughout the year, at times I find myself asking the question, does God really love me?

Well I don't know about you, but during the days we celebrate Christmas and Easter, I could never feel more loved by God. John 3:16 reads, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." God sent his son to die. He paid the price for us, so that we wouldn't have to. He loves us that much. 

The Christmas story is ultimately a love story. A story about a father named God, that gives the greatest gift of all to his children. A story about a friend by the name of Jesus, who gave up his life Mufasa-style in the Lion King, so that his friends could have life, and have it to the full. 

The birth of Christ gives us hope. It reminds us that in the mist of all of the tragedies and catastrophes in our lives, that there is hope. It reminds us when we feel lonely that we are never alone. And Jesus is the one that gives us that hope.

And even if you don't believe in the birth of Christ, you have all of your friends and family to celebrate the holidays with. You are home, and you owe it to yourself to take a breather. 

I can say with full confidence that the time I had off last year was essential to my success in J-term and in my spring semester. It really rejuvenated me, and celebrating the birth of our Savior reminded me of the hope I have in Christ.

So enjoy the holidays! Drink your hot chocolate and snuggle up next to the fire! And as you get a nice break from the hardships you have been facing, I pray that this time of year allows you to replenish and that it gives you hope. When it's all over, keep going. God has a plan for you, and he wants to take care of you. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and a very happy New Year!

The Obligatory "Jay Cutler Sucks" Article

The date was December 28, 2008. The 9-6 Chicago bears were entering Week 17 in a tight playoff picture. Needing a victory against the Houston Texans, as well as losses from Tampa Bay and Dallas, the Bears' chances of making the playoffs' weren't great, however they were very, very possible.

Dallas and Tampa Bay both lost, meaning all that it would take for the Bears was a win. The Bears fell short in a 31-24 loss, and immediately the finger was pointed at Bears quarterback Kyle Orton. Two years removed from a NFC Championship and a Super Bowl appearance, the Monsters of the Midway were missing the playoffs for the second straight year. Their defense was still one of the league's best, however there was a clear problem with the offense. The Bears' offense revolved around run and screen plays for Matt Forte, Devin Hester punt and kickoff returns, and throwing up deep passes and hoping for pass interference. In other words, they had no passing game, and the thrill of having Kyle Orton or Rex Grossman behind center, was not much of a thrill for Bears' fans.

After years of decades of dismal quarterback play and years of trying to replace "the punky QB known as [Jim] McMahon," Bears GM Jerry Angelo panicked. Here he had this supremely talented defense, with very little life on the offensive side, and a championship window that is only open for so long.

Out of panic, Angelo shipped away Orton, and three draft picks (18th overall and 84th overall in 2009, and a first round pick in 2010) for a 25 year-old gun-slinger coming off a Pro Bowl season, who forced his way out of Denver after not getting along with their new head coach Josh McDaniels. Many Chicagoans reacted the same as they did last week when the Cubs' signed Jon Lester, as if a savior was coming to resurrect a Chicago team and elevate them to a championship-caliber team. I was not one of those Chicagoans.

You see, I never thought Orton was that bad. The reason why the Bears couldn't generate any offense was in addition to having one of the league's worst offensive lines, their wide receivers were Devin Aromashodu, converted corner Devin Hester (who still can't consistently run good routes), a washed-up Marty Booker, Rashied Davis, and Brandon Rideau. Two years later, Rideau and Booker were out of the league. Two years after that Davis and Aromashodu were out of the league. Want to guess how many career touchdowns Davis and Aromashodu combined for in their careers? 10. The Bears' receiving core sucked. The only way you could get any kind of production out of that group was if Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers was your quarterback. Very few guys can turn chicken crap in to chicken salad, and I had no reason to believe that giving up three picks, that the Bears could use to bolster the receiving core or offensive line, would make any difference. So while many Chicagoans felt this was a great trade, where the Bears were getting a franchise, game-changing quarterback who would transcend the offense, which paired with a great defense would equal a championship, I thought otherwise, and I was interested in seeing what those draft picks would become so that one and if one day I could point back to those picks and say that I was right.

On December 18, 2014, I can declare that I was right. I hate to be the "I told you so" guy. It doesn't fit my persona. But Chicago, I told you so.

The Broncos turned those picks in to two-time Pro Bowler Demaryius Thomas, Eric Decker, two of the better receivers in the league, and linebacker/defensive end Robert Ayers. While Ayers may be on his second team now, that was the 18th pick in talented draft where Pro Bowl talents still on the board, like Clay Matthews, Alex Mack, Max Unger, Jairus Byrd, LeSean McCoy and Percy Harvin to name a few. That trade has allowed the Broncos to become the team that they are now: a legit Super Bowl threat for the third straight year, AFC West champions for the fourth straight year, and one of the most dynamic offenses in the NFL. The trade also opened up an opportunity for the Broncos to acquire Peyton Manning a few years later, an opportunity that would not have come otherwise. The Broncos would not be the team as we know them now if they had not made this trade, and I'm sorry Bears fans, but there is no possible way that the Bears won that trade.

Something I have been arguing for years is that while the NFL is a passing league, quarterbacks are being overvalued. Very few quarterbacks are actually worth what they are getting paid. An average or slightly above average quarterback can thrive if he is given the right talent around him. There are eleven players on the field for a team at a time, and very few quarterbacks can make up for lack-luster talent that is around them. We'll come back to this, but the bottom line is that in 2008, I believed that the Bears' needed to address their soft offensive line and find receivers that were capable of running decent routes and catching the ball.

So here were are in the 2009 preseason. Cutler has Bears' fans on the edge of their seats. His ballsy decision-making causes concerns for some, but his big-play capability and the rocket attached to his arm gives the fan base far more hope than fear. Peter King picks the Bears to win the NFC and return to the Super Bowl, something that he must have taken off of the internet because I can't find it anywhere, except for the copy of Sports Illustrated I have kept for five years.

Enter the 2009 season, the Bears' receivers are Hester, Aromashodu, Davis, and newly drafted Juaquin Inglesias and Johnny Knox (both out of the league by 2012) and the line still sucks. The result? The Bears start the season a disastrous 5-9, and Cutler leads the NFL in interceptions thrown with 26. Perhaps the best thing to come out of that terrible season, was this YouTube parody.

Haha, I love that. However 2010 was a much different season. The Bears went 11-5, and were one win away from playing in the Super Bowl. Cutler got injured in the NFC Championship game, and Bears fans suggest that if Cutler were to have never gotten injured, the Bears would have won the Super Bowl. That statement is false. Because while Cutler showed improvement, he still turned the ball over 9 more times than he did in the previous season and he was not playing well in that game. Cutty was only 6-14, throwing for just 80 yards and one pick over halfway through the game. While it remains a mystery what would have happened had he stayed in, the Cutler injury is not a valuable excuse. The Bears' were not better than Green Bay that season, nor were they better than the AFC Champion Pittsburgh Steelers.

Cutler looked most valuable to the Bears in the 2011 season, when the Bears started out 7-3, and then dropped five of their last six games after Cutler got hurt and had to miss the remainder of the regular season.

While Cutler did not build up a great resume in his first three seasons, in all fairness to him, it wasn't a fair sample size. Cutler was playing with sub-par receivers and a horrendous offensive line, as well as changes at offensive coordinator. He did not get along with Mike Martz, and with the combination of Mike Martz's scheme and a disastrous offensive line, left him to be sacked and to take more hits than he should have been taking.

Jerry Angelo was fired after the 2011 season, and Phil Emery came in as the new GM. Emery immediately made some big changes, acquiring top-tier receivers Brandon Marshall and Alshon Jeffery, finally giving Cutler somebody to throw the ball to. After a year or two, he was also able to fix up the offensive line. Marc Trestman took over at head coach, and Aaron Kromer took over at offensive coordinator. The Bears' became a team focused on their offense, and for the past three preseasons we have heard talk of Cutler being an MVP candidate, and on the cusp of being one of the elite quarterbacks in the league. Clearly, Cutler has failed to come anywhere close to those hopes.

In the 2012 and 2013 seasons, Cutler failed to throw 20 touchdown passes with one of the best receiving corps in the game. Believe it or not, he threw more touchdown passes when he had less talent at the receiver positions.

Furthermore, after Cutler got injured once again in the 2013 season, Josh McCown proved my point that quarterbacks are overvalued. McCown, at the age of 34, after being out of the league for a year, came in to back-up Cutty, and in the eight games he played in, McCown led the NFL in quarterback rating, completing 66.5% of his passes, meanwhile throwing 13 touchdowns and just one interception. McCown was being paid $580,000 for one year. Talk about bang for your buck production. McCown excelled as a result of the system he was in. I know I sound like a broken record, but this proved my case that the Bears did not need to pay a quarterback a max contract to win games.

With Cutler's contract coming to an end, the Bears had a decision to make. I wanted the Bears to franchise tag him, and then either keep him for a year, or trade him for an early round draft pick like the Patriots did with Matt Cassell after the 2009 season. I thought that if you looked at the five-year resume of Cutler, as well as the proof that a serviceable quarterback like McCown could dominate, there was just no way that the Bears could pay top dollar to keep Cutler. I thought that the Bears should have learned there lesson, and not repeated history and giving up too much for a guy they gave too much up to five years earlier.

The Bears did the opposite, signing Cutler to a 7-year contract extension, in which he will be paid an average of $18.5 million per year. Upon hearing the news of an extension, I posted on Facebook that I would not be seeing a Bears Super Bowl for the next seven years. People argued with me. People said the Bears had no other options. But they did.

The Bears could have drafted a quarterback and acquired a cheap QB looking for a second chance like Colt McCoy, who has looked very good this year in Washington in RGIII's absence, and had them compete for the starting role. While we do not know how productive that would be, we do know that the Bears are wasting $18.5 MILLION on their payroll this year by paying Cutler. Any quarterback that is getting paid that much should be throwing for 40 touchdowns with the offense the Bears' have. This offense is simply too talented. And with the amount they are spending on the Cutler contract, they could be using that money to fix up a terrible defense.

The Cutler contract will likely cost Emery his job. I believe that Marc Trestman hasn't taken Cutler out because he doesn't want to piss off Emery, and make Emery fire him, putting the blame on Trestman as Emery scrambles to keep his job. But now that it is looking like Trestman will get fired, I am very pleased with the way he is going out. By benching Cutler, he has a chance to showcase how his offense can work with Jimmy Clausen. And if the offense plays well, and Clausen does fine, Trestman can get an offensive coordinator position someplace else. It's also the ultimate F-YOU to Emery.

The Cutler trade and the Cutler contract have played a significant part in breaking the Bears, and turning the "Monsters of the Midway" in to the "Munchkins of the Midway." His inexcusable performance in prime-time and must-win games can no longer be tolerated or ignored. They should have aborted the Cutler project sooner, but hopefully this season is the end of it. I don't think they will be able to trade him for anything. And even if they cut him, they will still have to pay him through the 2016 season. There's a 90% shot (I say only 90% because I give it a 10% chance the Raiders or Redskins do something nutty and make Cutler their franchise quarterback) that Cutler is on the Bears next September, but if the Bears are smart they draft a quarterback this spring. And though it is three decades later, hopefully this time they can replace Jim McMahon.

So yeah, Cutler sucks. And oh, one more thing. It's worth noting that this Sunday, Kyle Orton will be starting and playing for a chance to take his team to the playoffs. Jay Cutler will not.

Why Does God Feel So Far Away?

In July, a friend of mine from high school committed suicide. It was the first time that death had impacted my life. I had never really lost someone before that. Over the next two months, four more deaths occurred in my life and in the lives of people I care about.

When things go bad in my life, I always turn to my faith. This is because God has been there to pick me up every time I fall. But over this three month stretch, I kept calling, and it felt like God wasn't picking up. I would read my Bible and it wouldn't open up my soul the way it used to. I would spend time praying and it didn't feel like God was listening. 

My faith didn't feel authentic. It felt fake, forced. The most common question I asked was "Why does God feel so far away?"

I stopped consistently reading my Bible and praying every night. I'd do it every now and then. I felt like I had an excuse not to. I felt like I could do whatever I wanted because everything was going wrong in my life.

The first half of my fall semester was complete and utter hell. There's just no other way to put it. Seldom was I able to get homework complete and turned in on time. I was able to get some accommodations to get some extra time on some assignments, but oftentimes that didn't make a different; I still did a lame job on some of my work. 

In addition to suffering from these tragedies, I felt like I was struggling socially. Some of my closest friends that I had last year at school had transferred or were now living off-campus, and I just didn't see them anymore. I rushed a fraternity that a majority of my friends joined last year, and for the second time, I didn't get in. I felt like I wasn't good enough and I felt like I had lost those friendships because I was now on the outside looking in.

I had seriously considered going home, leaving, and taking courses at the community college near my house again. But I could hear a faint whisper telling me to stay and to trust Him. As bad as things were in those first seven weeks, I somehow survived. I was still standing. I was still alive. 

The week after midterms, I was blessed with an amazing adventure to the Turks and Caicos Islands in the Caribbean for my cousin's wedding. This was a really great motivator for me to have. It gave me something to look forward to. And it was much needed.

The four days and nights I spent in Turks and Caicos were unlike anything I had previously experienced. Never before had I traveled out of the United States. Never before had I snorkeled, let alone in the Atlantic Ocean with some of the earth's most majestic-looking creatures. Never before had I been to such a beautiful place. 

In those four days, God felt present in my life, something that I hadn't felt all semester. I was incredibly touched by God's beautiful creation. 

As far as God felt from me in the times I questioned, "Is this for real?", his goodness was made evident to me in this beautiful canvas he had painted on this little island southeast of the Bahamas. Oftentimes when people think about the term "worship," they only think of singing songs. Worshiping God goes so much deeper than just singing. It is appreciating God for all the little or big things in our lives. So here I am, out of the country for the first time, experiencing these wonders, and just soaking it all in and thanking God for every breath of fresh air that I breathe in. 

When I got to the trip's end, I was definitely bummed out that I had to leave this paradise and go back to cold Wisconsin. But on the flip side, I was beyond grateful for the experience that I had. In my first couple of weeks back at school, I can't say that I was thrilled to be back. I was still aching from a lot of the bad things that had happened. But the four days I had in paradise gave me hope. They reminded me to keep seeking and pursuing Jesus. It was like I was lost at sea, and it was storming. I could either just give up, or I could keep going and look for the lighthouse that would make things clear to me and guide me back to land. I chose the latter.

Like I said, it wasn't like God made everything better immediately. But the great thing about God is that he takes all these things that were wounds that we've had, and he fixes them up and turns them in to scars. Scars show the pain that we went through, and they leave stories of how God healed us.

Over time, things got infinitely better for me. I found a church in Kenosha that has been such a blessing to my life. I finished the semester strong academically. I have developed much closer and more intimate friendships and bonds with friends I had last year, and I have met a lot of awesome new people, and started making new friendships that I hope will last a lifetime. And really for the first time, I feel like I belong at Carthage. I actually find myself growing eager to return and see all of my friends and be back in a few weeks for J-term. 

Through the church I have become a part of, I feel joy every Sunday. But I also feel joy every Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. And Friday. And Saturday. It has helped me get back on track spiritually, and see God in every day of my life. I have gotten back to the point of falling in love with Jesus every single day, and really growing in Him, and I am so amped up for what God has next for me. 

This is a total 180 from where I was when the semester began, and where I was over the summer. The main thing I have learned is through all the thick and thin, keep pursuing Jesus. As far away as he seems, he hasn't left. He's still there. We will all go through dry seasons in our faith, but that is only a temporary place. 

Deuteronomy 31:8 reads, "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

So whatever place you are in in life right now, no matter how stormy it is, or how high the waves are, keep looking for that lighthouse.

The Lester (or Luster) of the Cubs

It was just your ordinary Tuesday night. I was up late, studying for my religion final that I would be taking the next day and completing a 5-page paper for the class. It was 12:30 AM. Things were quiet, most of my hall had gone to bed and had to get up early for finals the next morning. For the week of finals, my school implements a strict "24-hour quiet hours." I was beginning to grow tired. And then I looked at my phone.

I see the words:
"Cubs agree to deal with Jon Lester." 

I immediately begin to yell and run up and down the halls.

"THE CUBS GOT LESTER! WE GOT LESTER! OHOHOH YESSSSSSSS!!!!!" 

These were just a few of things that could be heard from any part of the third floor of Denhart. I then proceeded to find my buddy on the floor that is a fellow Cubs die-hard fan. I go up to his door and loudly say his name. I hear in a very groggy voice, "what?" followed by a "Hell yeah. It's a great night to be a Cubs fan," upon my sharing of the good news.

It was a great night to be a Cubs fan. The excitement I felt ignited a spark in me to stay up for another two hours, finish my paper, and cram for my final. Now that my finals are over, I finally have time to break down this huge news.

Two months ago, I had a dream that it was Opening Day at Wrigley Field. As I was watching the Cubs' starting lineup take the field. Two things immediately caught my eye. The first was that Starlin Castro was no longer a member of the team, and the second was that Jon Lester was on the bump for us.

While Castro's future with the Cubs is still unclear, the second part of my dream came true on Tuesday night. Jon Lester and the Cubs agreed to a 6-year $155 million deal, and the fan base now has the most optimism its had since 2008. Facebook and Twitter were buzzing with excitement, with many fans pointing to the fact that the Cubs win the World Series in the year 2015 in Back to the Future Part II, which my friend Krystal first pointed out to me this past summer.

In Vegas, the Cubs now have the fifth highest odds to win the World Series.

So where is all this excitement coming from?

It's a culmination of surprise, prosperity, and hope. Many thought that Lester would show loyalty to Boston, who shipped him away to Oakland for Yoenis Céspedes this past summer, and continually low-balled him when they were negotiating a contract extension with a guy who helped them win two World Series'. If he wasn't going to Boston, he was surely staying in the Bay Area, going to San Francisco, and forming a nearly unstoppable pitching rotation with the likes of Madison Bumgarner and Jake Peavy. If he were to go elsewhere, it would certainly be Los Angeles, where he could form a similar tandem with reigning NL Cy Young Award winner Clayton Kershaw. But there was no way he would go to the Cubs, a team that hasn't won more than 73 games since 2010, was there?

Wrong. Lester chose a "cursed" franchise over the sexy options. And now the Cubs have a big-time pitcher that can pitch big-time games for them and a clear ace. Many people think that the Cubs' overpaid for Lester, whose 2.46 ERA was not only the lowest of his career, but the only sub-3 ERA that he has posted in his career. While perhaps they did overpay, keep in mind that there is no salary cap in baseball. Overpaying someone isn't quite the crime that it is in the NBA or the NFL. Also remember that there are very few players on the Cubs' roster that are making very much. The team is so young, a majority of the guys are still on their rookie contracts. So the Cubs have money to spend.

While Lester may or may not be elite, he is very good. The Cubs need pitching and he was the best option they had. He is what the Cubs need: a big-time pitcher.

It's also worth noting that a month ago they added a big-time manager with the signing of Joe Maddon, a goofy, fun-loving manager that is known for doing all that he can to keep his players loose and having fun while playing the game they love. Every day Maddon writes on his lineup card, "Never permit pressure to exceed pleasure." Maddon also did his own version of Allen Iverson's famous practice incident.

But my favorite Maddon moment was when his team was in a slump, and he decided to model his batting order after Tommy Tutone's 867-5309. Maddon has taken many under-talented, underdog teams much deeper in the playoffs than they really should go. And I have no reason to believe that he won't do the same with a young Cubs team.

As a Cubs fan, I believe in this team, and I think we can go all the way. However, looking at things objectively, I don't think that the World Series is the goal for the 2015 Cubs. That would be an unfair amount of pressure to put on such a young team. But I think this is about speeding up the rebuilding process. The rebuilding process is over and the Cubs are going to be contending for a NL Central division title sooner than you think.

The rebuilding process is over. The 2014 season was the last season of gutting the team. The Cubs now have the right building blocks in place to start competing. There was a stretch between August and early September where the Cubs were the best team in the central and the scariest to play. On September 1, the Brewers were tied in first place with the Cardinals. The Cubs then swept the Brewers and the Cards took a three game lead, this would eventually prove to be fatal for the Brewers' season.

On the same day that the Cubs added Lester, they also added two-time all-star, veteran catcher Miguel Montero from Arizona. Montero will provide good veteran leadership for a young team that needs a veteran catcher. A catcher's job is to call the game, and Montero's presence in the locker room will be a nice addition. He's also an upgrade over Wellington Castillo both offensively and defensively.

Also on Tuesday, the Cubs brought back pitcher Jason Hammel, who posted a 2.98 ERA with the Cubs in 2013 before being dealt to Oakland in the Jeff Samardzija deal in July. Speaking of that trade, who won that deal? The Cubs now have Hammel, Addison Russell, Billy McKinney, and Lester all from Oakland. Meanwhile, Samardzija will be pitching for the White Sox next year.

Which brings me to my next thought. Many will look at the Lester signing as the Cubs' last move. However, I see it as just the beginning. As I alluded to earlier, the signing of a big-ticket free agent shows that we are getting ready to compete. The Cubs could add another bat or another top-notch starting pitcher. Honestly, I would be shocked if the Cubs do not make another splash. Now, that splash doesn't have to take place this winter. Next winter, David Price and Samardzija will both be out on the open market. Could we see a Samardzija return, or a Joe Maddon-David Price reunion in Chicago?

I don't know. But what I do now is that Jed Hoyer and Theo Epstein have the Cubs on the right track. This has been a very prosperous off-season, and it gives us fans, great hope for what is to come in the coming years.

Cubs fans will not have to be patient for very much longer because the future is now. Expect the Cubs' to break .500 for the first time since 2009 and compete for a Wild Card. And as we enter in to this new era, remember that every night is a great night to be a Cubs fan.

The Craziest Conversation I Have Ever Had With a Stranger

Panama City Beach sunset picture that I snapped while down there.

This past spring break was the craziest spring break I have ever had. I spent a week in Panama City Beach, recognized by many as "the party capital of the US." When people asked me what I was doing for spring break, I told them that I was going to PCB, and the reaction I got was typically "Whoaaaa that's sick! I'm jealous! Have fun! You're gonna have a wild time." I thanked them, and explained that my adventure to PCB might be wild in a different way from most people that go down there's. That's right, I wasn't going to be smoking weed, getting drunk, or hooking up with girls in Panama City Beach. I went down there on a missions trip.

A lot of people would think that it's ridiculous for a Christian group to go down to one of the biggest party locations to do mission work. A lot of Christians might not go there. A lot of Christians might see it as a land of temptation, or a place of sin. But not this Christian.

You see, three years ago my life was radically changed by the gospel. I was somebody that was depressed before God reached in to my life and took away all the pain and gave my life a purpose. For the first 16 years of my life, I was living my life just like any other human being on this earth. But not long before I turned 17, I had an interaction with the Holy Spirit that forever changed my life. It made my life so incredibly better.

And I know that a lot of other people right now are in the state I was in before I found Jesus, a state of looking for the answers to life's questions, or finding something that gives them rest. So ever since my life changed, I've wanted to share this incredible joy with everyone. I want everyone else to feel the kind of peace that God has given me, and I want to help them discover their faith.

I looked at Panama City Beach as an opportunity. People have different reactions to alcohol, but most people seem to be more loose and outgoing once they have a few drinks in them. So in a town where drinking on the beach is a very prominent thing, I saw this is a great chance to have spiritual conversations with people, even if they were people I had never met before.

My time in PCB was without a doubt amazing. I had many new experiences, and was able to present the gospel to dozens of people. However, I did not expect that the most meaningful conversation I would have on the trip wasn't actually in PCB. I had been praying and I felt like God wanted me to find a way to get to Tampa Bay for the weekend, which meant leaving PCB a day early, to see my family. I didn't know why, but I just felt like it was what God wanted me to do. So instead of coming back on the Saturday with everybody else that went on the trip, I opted to take a 9-hour Greyhound bus to Tampa.

I arrived at the bus station early in the morning. I don't remember much about that morning aside from meeting some girls from University of Illinois that were friends with a guy I knew from high school, and having the craziest encounter I have ever had with a stranger. And when I say craziest, I mean it. This was something straight out of a movie or something.

I'm sitting in my seat in the bus station waiting for the bus to get ready to go, listening to music on my phone. There was a white, old biker-looking guy sitting across the room who had been making obnoxious comments. But never in my life had I seen something as obnoxious or hateful and disgusting as what I was about to see. I looked up for a second, and I see a happy, middle-aged black man walk in to the room. I watch him walk in, and hear the old white guy call him "the N word", followed by "take your n***** ass home." The black man responded in a frustrated way and it was clear that he was trying to have patience and be peaceful. In the middle of his response, something came over me. I felt myself moving my hands, picking up my luggage that was sitting in the seat to the right of me, and dropping it on the floor. My hands then proceeded to wave over to this stranger, and wave him to come over and sit by me. This wasn't something I planned on doing. It just happened. Perhaps it was a natural reaction, or the Holy Spirit pushing me to go outside of my comfort zone and care for one of God's people.

So this guy comes over and sits next to me. I take out my headphones, and we start talking; I find out his name is Darren. Meanwhile, the biker leaves, and everyone cheers. Darren starts talking to me about basketball, and I start pleading my case for why Larry Bird is the greatest small forward of all-time and LeBron is second. Darren agrees with me, and we start to talk about other 70's and 80's basketball. Darren is impressed with my knowledge of the game, and asks how I know so much about a time that I wasn't even alive for. I then pull out Bill Simmons' The Book of Basketball, a 700 page book that I've been working on finishing for forever. He's then fascinated by the book, and wants to see Simmons' list of his top 12 players. Then, in the middle of our conversation, we are interrupted as everybody needs to get on the bus. Thinking this was the last I saw of him, I was a little disappointed and I popped my headphones back in to continue my Relient K playlist or whatever I was listening to at the time.

As I walk in, I see Darren sitting at the back of the bus, with a big smile on his face, waving over to me. He had saved a spot for me, and was acting like we were old buddies. We start talking again, looking over the book, and end up talking sports for the next hour or two. Then all of the sudden, the conversation gets deep. We start talking about life, and he starts laying the stereotypical "middle-aged black person" wisdom on me that we see so often in TV shows and movies. Here's a quote I hear from Darren that I will never forget: "God created Eve from Adam's rib. If you ever find your rib, you marry her, and you cherish her forever. Because I let my rib get away, and I never that to happen to a good, young man like you." After he brings up this point about God's creation, I decide to ask if him if I can tell him my story with God. He says he'd love to hear it, so I tell it to him. I tell him the exact story I tell in the video featured earlier in this blog.

The next thing I hear from Darren is this: "Jack, this is amazing. Because I was released from prison this morning. I was in on a cocaine possession. But when I was behind bars, I had my life changed. A lot of prison ministries came and I heard something true for the first time in my life." He then pulls out his bag of stuff he had from prison and shows me the cards he was given. He loves the verse 2 Corinthians 3:17 ("Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."), a wonderful verse about freedom. He had been looking for freedom for quite a while, and even while he was in prison, he felt free. God had freed him from his troubles, anxieties, and sin. He tells me how I'm the first person that he's interacted with outside of prison, aside from the bigot that called him the N word. He tells me that this is a sign from God, and it's reassurance to him that God wants him to change his life and start living his life for God. He tells me how he's so excited to find a church and get connected and that this time he knows his life is going to be different. We had some more cool conversation, and before we knew it we had reached our stop and it was time for us to go our separate ways.

It's crazy that this all happened. This isn't a made-up story. This is one of the craziest life experiences I have ever had, and something I wouldn't trade for anything. God wanted me to be on that Greyhound bus. He wanted me to meet Darren. God used my random sports knowledge as a way to connect with someone from a complete opposite walk of life as me. He wanted me to have this experience. He wanted me to be bold in my faith, and never back down from sharing it. I also gained some wisdom from talking to Darren, and listening to the things he said. I think the other things I learned and experienced are pretty self-explanatory. All I can say is that it was incredible.

We may never know the rest of the story and what happened to Darren in his post-prison life. But we do know that he is now a child of God. And we know that he has hope. If you're reading this, I don't know what you believe. Some people might not have been able to make it through to the end of this blog because of all the Jesus talk. But I think we all like a good redemption story. We don't want to see people fall back in to the same problems they had before. No, we want to see their lives change for the better. Well, Darren has been redeemed. I can't wait to see him in Heaven and hear about how his life changed, and what God did with his life in his remaining years on Earth. 

Poetry: When a Friend Passes

I scribbled out this poem in the early evening Saturday as I looked out at beautiful Lake Michigan at the beach in Wilmette. I did not take this picture, however.

Yesterday I shared my 5 thoughts for when a friend passes. This is going to be a short blog, and it is kind of a sequel to yesterday's. I really appreciate all the input I have gotten from people, and the people that have been reaching out and extending love to me. I would like to share a poem I wrote for Paul, called "A Time to Mourn."

A Time to Mourn

A time to mourn, a time to cry
At the age of 20, you never think that one of your friends might die.
Everything can change in a blink of an eye.
You never think death can take such a good guy.
I guess life starts now
And since his death, I've lost track of the amount of times I've heard the word "wow"
Yep, Paul's death put us in a state of shock.
Feeling depressed, I had to go for a walk.
It still doesn't even feel real.
Feels like yesterday we were in Stamos' basement watching Key and Peele.
Yeah, we had some good memories, Paul
Like the time you blocked me the entire football field, or when you got excited and chucked your Xbox controller against the wall.
When it came to football, you were always a beast
It's a shame that your family had to move out east
The truth is, this past year we've really missed you
And I can't imagine what you had to go through.
But you always had a knack for making us laugh and smile.
Recognizing that you're no longer with us will take a while.

Truth is, we'll always miss you and wish for one last visit.
But we'll always remember your kind and tender spirit.
Paul, you truly were a great friend
It's hard to believe that this is the end.
You were an incredible artist, I just went back and looked at all the pictures you drew.
Thanks for all the fun, the laughs, and the good times; we'll never forget you.

5 Thoughts for when a Friend Passes

Here's a picture of Paul from when he won a scholarship for his artwork.

This past Friday night, I received the very unfortunate news that Paul Bucci, a friend of mine from high school had taken his life and was no longer with us. While I was not as close to Paul as some of my friends are, Paul and I did spend a decent amount of time together in high school. Anytime our friends got together to play football, he was there. He didn't like basketball much, but sometimes he'd even play that with us too. I first met Paul sophomore year, which was the year I found my main group of friends throughout high school, whom I still see every break. Paul struck me as a goof, in the best way possible. He was goofy and absolutely hilarious. When we played football, he was a monster. He spent his freshman year playing fullback on the school team, where he would run straight at his opponents, and in many occasions, light them up. After freshman year, he hung up the cleats, joined the track and cross-country teams, and stuck to playing pick-up games with a bunch of (at the time) scrawny track kids. Paul was strong, and he could hit hard if he wanted to. But what was so interesting about him, is that all the strength he had was natural. He didn't spend his time in the gym lifting to get big like the rest of us. Nope, when Paul wasn't doing schoolwork or playing sports with us, he would spend his time doodling and creating drawings and cartoons. Paul's artwork was incredible. It earned him a scholarship, something I forgot entirely until I started looking back on his life. Why did I forget? Because Paul was so humble, he never spent his time telling people how great he was. He just was great.

As I hinted earlier, Paul was also a great character. No one will ever steal his place in my "top 10 funniest people I know" rankings. Later in this blog, I'll share some stories about him, however putting them in writing simply won't do them justice. You'd have to know Paul to appreciate Paul, and if you never did know Paul, I feel sorry for you, because you missed out on an amazing human being. On top of being "the funny guy", and even more important, Paul was a good friend. He was a very easy-going guy. If you heard that some of our friends were ever arguing about something ridiculous, you could try to guess who was arguing, but your last guess would be Paul. Paul could get along with anyone. Over the course of high school, I got to know Paul pretty well. By the time senior year rolled around, we were pretty good pals. Freshman year of college, when Paul was at University of Wisconsin-Madison, was probably when I was closest with him. Paul and became good friends, and we were able to talk to each other about any kind of troubles we might have been facing. The summer after freshman year, better known as last summer, Paul's family moved back to Pennsylvania. This robbed us of another summer with him. Some time during this past year, he deactived his Facebook account, and slowly we started to drift apart. As you grow up and enter college, it becomes more difficult to stay in touch with everybody. You can only have so many people in your life. I had hoped that Paul would make a visit this summer and we could catch-up, but sadly that wasn't the case. The last time I saw Paul was winter break freshman year, his last break when he lived here. A couple nights before he headed back to school a few of us got together for wings and chilling. When it was over, we had a little bro-hug and said our goodbyes. The thought that this was the last time we would ever see each other on this planet never crossed our minds.

These last few days have been unlike anything I have experienced before. I've learned some stuff, re-learned some stuff, and spent a lot of time journaling and writing poetry. Through it all there have been five things that have stuck out, and I would like to share them with you.

1. Nothing lasts forever.
In Ecclesiastes 3, it says that there is a time for every activity under the heavens:

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

What do we see in that text? There is a time to weep. There is a time to mourn. There is a time for death. Death is inevitable. For me, being 19 years-old, death isn't something I spend much time thinking about. After Paul's death, it felt like this is where life starts. As depressing and as messed-up as it is, death is a part of life. No one knows their time. Life could end at any point for any of us, and when it comes to life, none of us will make it out alive. I would love to think that everyone else I know will live to be 70 or 80 years-old, but that probably won't be the case. We can take care of our bodies, and keep them in tip-top shape by exercising and eating healthy, which we should do, but life could end at any moment. No one knows their time.

2. I never want to hear another suicide joke.
As somebody that has experienced depression, I cringe whenever I hear someone make dumb remarks such as, "Man, I'd rather kill myself than take that class." No you wouldn't. Any kind of "I'd rather kill myself than ____" is not funny. I see no purpose to making these statements. I cringed then, and I don't know how I'll react now. People that take their lives were suffering from an insurmountable amount of pain. They are constantly hurting, and they've hit a point where they feel like life can't get better and that they have no other way to end the pain. The pain is just too much for them to bare and they feel that they cannot keep going, so they end their lives way sooner than their lives should end, and all of the people in their lives are devastated. I know I'm hurting pretty bad right now, but I can't imagine how some of my other friends that were best friends with Paul feel, or how Paul's family feels. So you really want to keep making those jokes?

3. Take it easy on the Jesus stuff.
For those that know me or follow this blog, know that I am a very passionate Christian and probably are surprised by hearing me say this. But the truth is, Christians can do more harm than help when trying to comfort someone. I don't want to single anybody out, because this is a pretty common thing I've heard from people not just to me, but to others that are grieving the loss of a friend or a loved one. I'ts a modified version of Jeremiah 29:11, which reads "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I'll hear something along the lines of, "this is something out of our control, and it was a part of God's plan. God's got a greater plan and while we might not understand it now or ever, this is just a part of his plan." Wrong.

God does have plans for us if we choose to follow Him. But it never was God's plan for Paul to take his life. This whole spiel makes God sound like some kind of sadistic sicko. God NEVER wanted Paul to kill himself. That wasn't his plan. It's never his plan for something like that to happen. But we live in a broken world, and things like this do happen. That's not to say that God can't work in terrible circumstances (Romans 8:28- "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."), but God doesn't create those circumstances.

The last thing somebody that is mourning wants to hear is that it was a part of God's plan. It only makes you angry and if somebody isn't a Christian, it can really turn them off to Christianity for the reasons I've listed earlier. If you want to help somebody who is mourning, the best thing you can do is just be there for them, and be present. One of the things that has helped me the most is the encouragement and love I've received from friends. The people that just talk to me, and be with me, and will talk about whatever I need to talk about. Maybe we'll talk about something completely unrelated to Paul's passing, but if you want to help someone, the best thing you can do is offer them your friendship and prayer. Hearing that I have friends praying for me makes me feel loved. Perhaps you can send the person a Bible verse or two, but again, take it easy on that stuff. Let them come to grips with what they are dealing with, and if they want to talk about that stuff, they will.

4. It makes our other problems seem so small.
The previous things that had been burdening me completely faded away after hearing about the passing of Paul. We all have troubles. It's a part of life. But after working a twelve hour shift yesterday at my job, that was one of the hardest tasks I've ever had to do. Working when I'm feeling sick now seems incredibly easy. The daily problems I might have now feel like nothing. That's not to say that I won't still have little troubles, or that we should completely ignore those things. I like to ask my friends a lot how I can be praying for them. A lot of the time a response I'll get from people is "I'm good, thanks." Looking at things with this new perspective, I can completely understand why people might say that now. It's because they don't want to be a "prayer hog" and waste God's time on something that might not seem as important as other tragedies that are going on in the world today. We still should pray for the little things and we all have things that need to be prayed for, and you any time spent with God is never a waste. But I can at least understand it now.

I guess the main point here is that we might stress over smaller things, but we don't realize how good we have it. I am in good health, I have an amazing family and the greatest friends in the world. I am extremely blessed. Sometimes we just need to be grateful for the things we have, and look around and appreciate them while they're here, because we don't know when they might leave us.

5. There is a time to mourn. 
Going back to the Bible passage I discussed in point number one, there is a time for everything. There's a time to mourn. Losing a friend isn't the type of thing that you can just get over by watching Netflix, eating ice cream and hanging out with friends. No, it might not be a quick fix. I don't know how long it will take until things feel "normal" again, or if they ever will, because I've never coped with something like this before. But it's okay to be sad. A terrible thing has happened.

But the thing that has helped me the most is to take a moment and think about all the good times we had with Paul. One of my closest friends, who was also one of Paul's closest friends, came over on Sunday. We shared some of our favorite Paul memories. I went through and reread all my Facebook conversations I had with him and when I did both those things, I spent a lot of time laughing. One time when we played football, Paul was blocking me on the play. He certainly was stronger than me, and he decided to keep pushing me backwards, while making funny grunting noises. He was on a mission. He started blocking me further and further away from the play, meanwhile the whole time I was laughing. I probably could have maneuvered around him, but it was just too funny. He ended up blocking me in to the end zone, and then out of the end zone, even though there was no touchdown on the play. I can't do it justice in writing, you had to have seen it. Paul had a lot of funny moments like that when we played sports. One time he was at another friend's house, playing NHL on his Xbox, and he scored a goal. He got so excited that he chucked his controller against the wall. Paul had his funny, goofy moments like this that cannot be replicated in writing. But the more I look back on the good times we shared, and the funny things Paul did, the more I smile, laugh and appreciate those times. It still is a tragedy, and we are all still coping with the loss, but maybe these kind of stories can give us the laughter, happiness, and hope we need to get out of this tunnel of darkness. I'm happy that the good times happened, even though they had to come to a very abrupt ending. Thanks for all the memories Paul, we miss you so much.



PS I thought I would show a picture of a shirt that Paul created for one of our friends, Ian Feeney.

He truly was a great artist, and he was even working on a logo for Viva La Vita. Sadly we'll never see it. I may make a lot of friends and meet a lot of people in my life, but I will never meet another Paul Bucci. Rest in peace, my friend.

Top 10 Survivor Players of All-Time

Last week, robhasawebsite.com revealed the results of their top 20 players of Survivor poll. Listeners to the podcast were asked to fill out a ballot with their top 10, The votes were counted up on a point scale, and then we were given our results. While I forgot to vote, I thought this would be a good topic to write about in the Survivor off-season, as a passionate Survivor super-fan. In case you missed it, here is a list of the top 20:

20) Chris Daugherty (Winner Vanuatu)
19) Amanda Kimmel (Runner-up China, Micronesia; Heroes vs. Villains)
18) Tom Westman (Winner, Palau; Heroes vs. Villains)
17) Ozzy Lusth (Runner-up Cook Islands; Micronesia, South Pacific)
16) Brian Heidik (Winner Thailand)
15) Malcolm Freberg (Philippines, Caramoan)
14) John Cochran (South Pacific, Winner Caramoan)
13) Spencer Bledsoe (Cagayan)
12) Tyson Apostol (Tocantins, Heroes vs. Villains, Winner Blood vs. Water)
11) Yul Kwon (Winner Cook Islands)
10) Todd Herzog (Winner China)
9) Russell Hantz (Runner-up Samoa, Heroes vs. Villains; Redemption Island)
8) Tony Vlachos (Winner Cagayan)
7) Cirie Fields (Panama, Micronesia, Heroes vs. Villains)
6) Rob Cesternino (Amazon, All-Stars)
5) Richard Hatch (Winner Borneo; All-Stars)
4) Kim Spradlin (Winner One World)
3) Sandra Diaz-Twine (Winner Pearl Islands, Heroes vs. Villains)
2) "Boston" Rob Mariano (Marquesas, Runner-up All-Stars, Heroes vs. Villains, Winner Redemption Island)
1) Parvati Shallow (Cook Islands, Winner Micronesia, Runner-up Heroes vs. Villains)

So that's our top 20 players of Survivor. Or so they say. If you would like to see the full list, here it is.

I think there are a lot of things wrong with this list. I can't say that I spent an immense amount of time researching this, and picking a list of the top 10 is not an easy task. So here is my (subject to change) late ballot:

10) Ethan Zohn (Winner, Africa; Returned for Survivor: All-Stars)
Ethan needs to be on any top 10 Survivor players list. In the show's third season, Ethan proved that good guys don't always finish last and that there is an ethical way to win Survivor. Also, very few winners, if any, have done more good things outside of the game. Ethan has defeated cancer twice, and created the non-profit charitable organization Grassroot Soccer. He also returned in All-Stars and showed that he's more strategic and savvy than he was credited his first time out. While Ethan may not have made the merge in All-Stars, baring too big a target on his back, he has emerged not only a winner in the game of Survivor, but a winner in the game of life.

9) Chris Daugherty (Winner, Vanuatu)
Never has a winner had a better come-from-behind victory. Chris was all but gone at the final seven, when he was the only man remaining up against an all-female alliance of six. With his back against the wall, Chris turned the women against each other and flipped the game upside down. The underdog ended up winning in one of the craziest, least-expected ways. It's a shame Chris hasn't been asked back, but his cult following continues to grow and number 9 is a fair spot for him on this list.

8) Kim Spradlin (Winner, One World)
Another one-time player, but a one-time winner takes the next spot on our top ten list. Kim played one of the most dominant games in the history of the show. Kim did what Chris Daugherty kept women from doing in his season, and that was eliminating the men at the merge. Once she took out her biggest threat Troyzan, she created a pretty clear path for herself to the end by keeping everyone in check and making them think she was going to take them to the end. One by one, she sent them home, but she did it with a smile and didn't take too much heat from the jury and still won her season in a commanding fashion. While One World was one of my least favorite seasons of the show, and widely viewed as one of the worst, one good thing came of it: a great and deserving winner. Kim will probably get asked back to play again, and I'm really intrigued to see how she does if she accepts.

7) Tom Westman (Winner, Palau; Returned for Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains)
In baseball, if you keep all 27 batters you face in a game from reaching first base, you've thrown a perfect game. In Survivor, if there is any model for a perfect game, it's the game Tom Westman played. As the tribe leader, Tom's tribe never lost an immunity challenge and decimated the opposing tribe until their was only one sole contestant or "survivor" left. After the merge, Tom easily stayed in the majority, and won, playing an honest game with integrity. He was a rare triple-threat. A player who was a threat strategically, socially and physically. He was a challenge beast who even caught a shark for his tribe to eat.

6) Cirie Fields (Panama, Micronesia, Heroes vs. Villains)
Aside from being one of the most entertaining players and one of the best confessional-givers, Cirie is one of the best Survivor players ever. When Cirie first set foot on the beach in Panama, she was a fish out of water. She was afraid of leaves. Needless to say, she was far from an outdoors person. In both of her first two tries on the show, Cirie was on the outs. Other people had formed alliances at the very beginning and she was on the outside looking in. But both times, she somehow managed to make it to the end, and both times she came within a challenge win of being a champion. A brilliant social player, and a ruthless strategist, Cirie came so close to being a two-time winner. Unfortunately, her tribemates on the Heroes tribe were smart enough to get rid of her at the beginning, and keep her from going on another run. It truly is unfortunate that Cirie isn't a winner, but she is entirely deserving of being the second greatest female player in the show's history, in my opinion.

5) Rob Cesternino (Amazon, All-Stars)
"The Rob that sucks" might not quite be up to the skill-level of Boston Rob Mariano. But he did earn himself from Jeff Probst, who once called him "the smartest/best player to never win", and revolutionized the game. Watching Rob play both sides in one of the best seasons of all-time was something spectacular. What he did had never been done before. Rob's ability to adapt to whatever was thrown his way made him a very special player. Jenna Morasca is a great winner, and one of my favorite people to play Survivor, but with all do respect to her, Rob was the best player on his season. It was hard to watch him come so close. It was even harder to watch Rob have his hopes and dreams crushed early on in All-Stars. But ignore what happened on that season. Rob had too big a target, and players such as him and Richard Hatch had no realistic chance at getting anywhere close to the merge in that game. Cirie and Rob are very similar players and while Cirie has mastered her way to the final four twice, Rob did it first, and I think his first game was more impressive than either of Cirie's first two tries. Sorry Cirie, but for those reasons, Rob C gets the nod as a top 5 Survivor player of all-time.

4) Brian Heidik (Winner, Thailand)
Say what you want about Brian Heidik's life outside of the game of Survivor. But in the game of Survivor, Brian Heidik played one of the most impressive games we have ever seen. Never before had anyone been able to fake a personality for an entire season, and it hasn't happened since. Brian put on a front as a good guy, and thrived socially. But on the inside, Brian was a cold-blooded killer and one of the most despicable villains. His ability to keep his composure and stay cool about whatever was happening impressed many, including myself. "The Iceman" was also a triple-threat and a beast in the challenges. If Brian were to have played again in All-Stars or Fans vs. Favorites, he would have likely been the first boot. Anybody that has seen him play would not let him stay a day on the island. However, if he never went on Thailand, and had played on a different season instead, I think he would repeat his success. If he was brought back to play again now, he might actually go deep in the game because a lot of newer players might not know anything about him. These are all hypothetical situations, as there's no chance in the world that CBS brings him back. Heidik earns the highest spot from a player that hasn't played more than once.

3) Richard Hatch (Winner, Borneo; Returned for Survivor: All-Stars)
Richard Hatch is probably the most polarizing player to be on this list. For years, I was in the school of thought that he wasn't that great. Many argue that he was a man among boys playing on the first ever season of Survivor and that he was the only real player on his season. But that's not the case. I rewatched Borneo last summer and realized something. Everybody that played on that season was playing the game. There were 16 different ways to play Survivor. Richard's way got him to the end, and garnered four votes from the jury to win. People decided that since this one the game, this is the necessary blueprint for any player on any season. Nowadays, you have no shot of getting anywhere without an alliance. Richard invented that concept, and players in future seasons tried to replicate his success. As mentioned earlier, on All-Stars, Hatch had absolutely no shot of getting anywhere. Everyone wanted to dethrone the king of Survivor. At this point, after 28 seasons of Survivor, there have been so many people that are threats on the show, that it would be interesting to bring back people like Hatch, Cesternino, Heidik, and more and see what would happen. It's a darn shame that Hatch was still under house arrest when Heroes vs. Villains was shooting, because he would have been a great addition to the cast. I bet Hatch will play again by the time it's all said and done, but even if he doesn't, he has earned his spot in the Survivor Hall of Fame by being an inventor and making the game what it is.

2) "Boston" Rob Mariano (Marquesas, Runner-up All-Stars; Heroes vs. Villains, Winner Redemption Island)
I'll never forget watching the first episode of Survivor: Marquesas back in 2002. I remember Sarah Jones floating on the raft while her tribemates rowed, and Sean Rector calling her Cleopatra. And I remember a 25 year-old kid with a thick Boston accent making my parents and I laugh whenever he was on screen. From the second we saw Boston Rob, we loved him. While "The Robfather" was voted out right at the merge, he changed the season. He showed all the people on the bottom that they were on the bottom, and after he was booted, those people flipped the game upside down. That was the first time in the show's history where one tribe didn't pick off the other tribe one-by-one. On his second time out, Rob played an aggressive, angry game. He was a man on a mission. He got all the way to the end, but offended too many and quite frankly treated some of the people he put on the jury like garbage. Some argue that he should have still won this season, but I disagree. He still made history by having the first showmance that led to marriage and he and Amber now have four daughters. In his third try, Rob learned from his mistakes. He had a lot more patience, and had a much better social game. He positioned himself perfectly, however what I call "the worst move in the history of the show" was made by Tyson and spoiled his season. Finally, Rob got his win on Redemption Island, where he dominated the game unlike any other. While it may not have been a flawless game like Tom Westman's, it was a brilliantly executed strategic game. Each time Rob played, he elevated his game to a whole 'nother level. He has become the most-feared player in the show's history. But Boston Rob might even be a more polarizing player than Richard Hatch. Many will point to his failures on the show and say he's overrated and that it's lame that it took him four tries to finally win. But I disagree with them. There's a lot of luck that's involved in Survivor. There are a lot of things that are not in your control. Rob had really bad luck two of the times he played. We could play the what-if game, but there wasn't too much that he could have done differently that would have changed his fate. His other two times playing the game, he went to the finals. He was one vote away from being a two-time winner. One of my favorite things with watching Rob play is watching him grow up and like I said before, how he improved himself each time he played. He adjusted himself and was able to adapt to whatever came his way. We all watched him grow up while he played. I think a guy like Malcolm Freberg could become the next Boston Rob. He has the same kind of skill-set and could become a legend with some age and more experience. Some players that have played with "BR" have also seemed to improve after playing with them (take a look at Tyson, Andrea, Coach, and dare I say Phillip). Rob is also in my opinion the greatest challenge competitor ever, however there's still one player better than him in my book.

1) Sandra Diaz-Twine (Only 2x Winner, Pearl Islands, Heroes vs. Villains)
There's no way that anybody can top Sandra in any type of best Survivor players argument. Sandra has played twice. She has also won twice. She is the only player to win more than once, and not only that but she's got a 1.000 winning percentage in her time on the show. That's unbelievable! Trash her social game all you want. She may be a big talker, but it hasn't made her lose votes. I get mad when people try to take away from her win in Heroes vs. Villains. She tried so hard to get the Heroes to flip the game and take Russell out, but nobody would budge. So she did the next best thing, got to the end, and said "see?". The other thing Sandra will get trashed for is that she's not good challenges. That hasn't gotten her voted out before the merge and when she's gotten to the merge, that's something that can work to help you because nobody is taking you as a threat. Sandra is a bonafide boss when it comes to the game of Survivor. I have no idea if she will ever play again and how that would shake out. I could really see it going either way with her. She could get targeted because she's the best player ever, the only two-time winner, and a bunch of selfish players could try to take her out to kill all the hype surrounding her (much like Richard Hatch). Or she could be overlooked yet again, and go for a three-peat. I don't know, but whatever were to happen if she played again, I don't think she could do much to actually hurt her spot as the best player ever. By winning and making another great run, she could solidify it, even if it means losing in the final five and no longer having a 1.000 win percentage. Unless she did something very costly and did something outrageously dumb, she would keep her spot as the best player ever. The only way for there to be a discussion over who's better than Sandra is if somebody else wins again. And even then, that person might have already lost in a previous attempt, or it could be somebody playing an all-winner season where a winner is bound to win, both would leave a wrinkle on that player's case. It's a mystery if Sandra will keep her spot as the best player ever when it's all said and done, but if you were pointing a gun to my head, I'd say that no one will top her.


So that's my list! I'm sure there will be some outcry from the Parvati and Russell fans, but hey, I'd love to hear your case for why they should be on this list. Leave a comment below, tweet me @vellvita7 or hit me up on our Facebook fan page!

Poetry: Changes

Something I like to do as a blogger and an aspiring journalist is to push myself to try new things. Try to step my game up. Kind of like how Kobe Bryant, a perimeter, spent the summer after the Lakers won a title in 2009 working on his low-post game with a Hall of Famer and a top 5 big man of all-time in Hakeem Olajuwon. I tried my best to try to make that last sentence make sense to people that don't follow sports, but I probably still failed. Oh well. Anyway, I want to add more weaponry to my arsenal. I want to try new things, acquire new skills, and test myself for my own good. Who knows what might come out of it? Anyway, I recently have taken an interest in writing poetry. Poetry is a great way to take the thoughts you can't get out of your head, put them in to paper, and hopefully make them sound beautiful.

Something that I always struggle with is change. I never want things to change, and I always miss the way my life used to be, instead of being grateful for the life I currently have. A couple nights ago I wrote a poem called "Changes". I have no idea how good it is or how I did. Maybe it sucked. But I would love to get some feedback on this poem, as well as the blog. Would you like to see more poetry on here? What do you guys want to see? Here it goes:

Changes

Why can't I ever take my mind off the past?
The greatest times of my life will never last.
Sometimes it feels like I've hit my peak
And that I will never go on another winning streak.
As much as I might win, I have also lost
Because growing and having new experiences comes with a cost.
Moving out of the old and into the new
Oftentimes has me feeling very blue.
Sometimes I wish I could have it all back
My friends, my high school, my hometown, and nothing to pack.

But that's not my ultimate goal
Instead it's for God to purify my soul.
See this world is just a temporary place.
Life's going to change, it's a part of the race.
But while life will come with its alterations
One thing that will never need a modification is my salvation.
God has called me "MINE"
Long before he turned water to wine.
He's told me that he has a plan
A plan far too great for myself, a fallen man.

While it may be hard to say goodbyes and to let go
God's got better things for me, better than what I know.
So when I start getting sentimental
I need to remember that this skin and bones is only a rental.
When it's all said and done,
My Heavenly father will call me his son.
Life will come with it's changes and scares
But there's comfort in knowing God will never change, he loves you and he still cares.

22 Jump Street Movie Review

The wait is over! 22 Jump Street, the sequel to the hit movie-based-on-an-80's-show 21 Jump Street is now in theaters, and I caught it with my buddies on opening night. Going in to this movie, I didn't have very high expectations. It's tough for a sequel to replicate the success that it had in its first movie. So while I was very excited to see this, I didn't want to get my hopes too high. In addition to that, I didn't want to watch too many commercials or trailers before seeing it. Sometimes the funniest parts in movies are ruined by the overplay of ads they have of those lines/scenes. Sometimes its just best going in to a movie knowing nothing about it, and aside from the first red band trailer, and aside from the commercials they showed on TV,  I knew nothing about this movie.

First and foremost, this movie is hilarious. It's just as funny as 21 Jump Street, if not funnier. I think this movie also makes better use of Ice Cube. Ice Cube's hilarious in this one and some of the films best moments include him. These guys are funny and they have good chemistry together. The movie makes self-deprecating comments about itself just like it did in the last one. It knows what it is. The best of these comments is a diss of Channing Tatum's White House Down, which was released last summer. Keep your ears open for that. I won't spoil any other funny moments, because what fun would that be? This movie also has some good and funny references to the first one.

Okay, now going outside of the comedy rating, there are some other things that need to be talked about. For example, the fact that this is exactly the same movie as the first one, except instead of being high school students, they are now college students. Look, I loved the college premise. And I think this movie is a lot of fun. But it could be even more fun if they had done some newer stuff with it. What people hated so much about The Hangover: Part II was the fact that it was the same exact movie as the first one. This movie does the same exact thing, however it seems like people are giving 22 Jump Street a pass. Now, there are worse things that a movie can do, but I think that this should be addressed. 

A rather common thing in buddy-cop films, or movies or shows that feature two male lead characters is that they sometimes play up the whole "bromance" thing and parody a romance or a couple. In this movie, they hit you over the head with this. And while it has a couple funny moments, you just get sick of it because its cliche and not funny. It wears out its welcome pretty fast. It's just unoriginal and disappointing because I know these writers are capable of coming up with something better. 

My last problem with the film is mainly the fact that the commercials gave away too much. With it being the same movie as the last one and seeing the commercials on TV, it lost its element of unpredictability and that took away some of the fun of it. It also ruined some funny jokes. So if you haven't seen any commercials for this movie, I urge you not to before seeing it, and you will likely enjoy it more than people that did see the commercials.

Despite the things that irked me a bit with this movie, I did like this movie. While it may not be as good as the first one, I am likely going to watch this several more times before I'm out of college. It is a hilarious movie and it was fun. Also, the last 5 minutes of the movie (the credits scene) are the funniest of the film. They made an effort of not having to make another sequel (which they totally still can if they want to squeeze out more cash and it could happen) and it features a cameo. I won't say anything else about it, except make sure you stay in your seat when the film ends because you will not want to miss this. In terms of humor, I don't know which of the two movies is funnier, but the fact that I don't know tells you that this one is dang funny. I just only wish that they would have done more with this film's potential. 7/10.