The Craziest Conversation I Have Ever Had With a Stranger

Panama City Beach sunset picture that I snapped while down there.

This past spring break was the craziest spring break I have ever had. I spent a week in Panama City Beach, recognized by many as "the party capital of the US." When people asked me what I was doing for spring break, I told them that I was going to PCB, and the reaction I got was typically "Whoaaaa that's sick! I'm jealous! Have fun! You're gonna have a wild time." I thanked them, and explained that my adventure to PCB might be wild in a different way from most people that go down there's. That's right, I wasn't going to be smoking weed, getting drunk, or hooking up with girls in Panama City Beach. I went down there on a missions trip.

A lot of people would think that it's ridiculous for a Christian group to go down to one of the biggest party locations to do mission work. A lot of Christians might not go there. A lot of Christians might see it as a land of temptation, or a place of sin. But not this Christian.

You see, three years ago my life was radically changed by the gospel. I was somebody that was depressed before God reached in to my life and took away all the pain and gave my life a purpose. For the first 16 years of my life, I was living my life just like any other human being on this earth. But not long before I turned 17, I had an interaction with the Holy Spirit that forever changed my life. It made my life so incredibly better.

And I know that a lot of other people right now are in the state I was in before I found Jesus, a state of looking for the answers to life's questions, or finding something that gives them rest. So ever since my life changed, I've wanted to share this incredible joy with everyone. I want everyone else to feel the kind of peace that God has given me, and I want to help them discover their faith.

I looked at Panama City Beach as an opportunity. People have different reactions to alcohol, but most people seem to be more loose and outgoing once they have a few drinks in them. So in a town where drinking on the beach is a very prominent thing, I saw this is a great chance to have spiritual conversations with people, even if they were people I had never met before.

My time in PCB was without a doubt amazing. I had many new experiences, and was able to present the gospel to dozens of people. However, I did not expect that the most meaningful conversation I would have on the trip wasn't actually in PCB. I had been praying and I felt like God wanted me to find a way to get to Tampa Bay for the weekend, which meant leaving PCB a day early, to see my family. I didn't know why, but I just felt like it was what God wanted me to do. So instead of coming back on the Saturday with everybody else that went on the trip, I opted to take a 9-hour Greyhound bus to Tampa.

I arrived at the bus station early in the morning. I don't remember much about that morning aside from meeting some girls from University of Illinois that were friends with a guy I knew from high school, and having the craziest encounter I have ever had with a stranger. And when I say craziest, I mean it. This was something straight out of a movie or something.

I'm sitting in my seat in the bus station waiting for the bus to get ready to go, listening to music on my phone. There was a white, old biker-looking guy sitting across the room who had been making obnoxious comments. But never in my life had I seen something as obnoxious or hateful and disgusting as what I was about to see. I looked up for a second, and I see a happy, middle-aged black man walk in to the room. I watch him walk in, and hear the old white guy call him "the N word", followed by "take your n***** ass home." The black man responded in a frustrated way and it was clear that he was trying to have patience and be peaceful. In the middle of his response, something came over me. I felt myself moving my hands, picking up my luggage that was sitting in the seat to the right of me, and dropping it on the floor. My hands then proceeded to wave over to this stranger, and wave him to come over and sit by me. This wasn't something I planned on doing. It just happened. Perhaps it was a natural reaction, or the Holy Spirit pushing me to go outside of my comfort zone and care for one of God's people.

So this guy comes over and sits next to me. I take out my headphones, and we start talking; I find out his name is Darren. Meanwhile, the biker leaves, and everyone cheers. Darren starts talking to me about basketball, and I start pleading my case for why Larry Bird is the greatest small forward of all-time and LeBron is second. Darren agrees with me, and we start to talk about other 70's and 80's basketball. Darren is impressed with my knowledge of the game, and asks how I know so much about a time that I wasn't even alive for. I then pull out Bill Simmons' The Book of Basketball, a 700 page book that I've been working on finishing for forever. He's then fascinated by the book, and wants to see Simmons' list of his top 12 players. Then, in the middle of our conversation, we are interrupted as everybody needs to get on the bus. Thinking this was the last I saw of him, I was a little disappointed and I popped my headphones back in to continue my Relient K playlist or whatever I was listening to at the time.

As I walk in, I see Darren sitting at the back of the bus, with a big smile on his face, waving over to me. He had saved a spot for me, and was acting like we were old buddies. We start talking again, looking over the book, and end up talking sports for the next hour or two. Then all of the sudden, the conversation gets deep. We start talking about life, and he starts laying the stereotypical "middle-aged black person" wisdom on me that we see so often in TV shows and movies. Here's a quote I hear from Darren that I will never forget: "God created Eve from Adam's rib. If you ever find your rib, you marry her, and you cherish her forever. Because I let my rib get away, and I never that to happen to a good, young man like you." After he brings up this point about God's creation, I decide to ask if him if I can tell him my story with God. He says he'd love to hear it, so I tell it to him. I tell him the exact story I tell in the video featured earlier in this blog.

The next thing I hear from Darren is this: "Jack, this is amazing. Because I was released from prison this morning. I was in on a cocaine possession. But when I was behind bars, I had my life changed. A lot of prison ministries came and I heard something true for the first time in my life." He then pulls out his bag of stuff he had from prison and shows me the cards he was given. He loves the verse 2 Corinthians 3:17 ("Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."), a wonderful verse about freedom. He had been looking for freedom for quite a while, and even while he was in prison, he felt free. God had freed him from his troubles, anxieties, and sin. He tells me how I'm the first person that he's interacted with outside of prison, aside from the bigot that called him the N word. He tells me that this is a sign from God, and it's reassurance to him that God wants him to change his life and start living his life for God. He tells me how he's so excited to find a church and get connected and that this time he knows his life is going to be different. We had some more cool conversation, and before we knew it we had reached our stop and it was time for us to go our separate ways.

It's crazy that this all happened. This isn't a made-up story. This is one of the craziest life experiences I have ever had, and something I wouldn't trade for anything. God wanted me to be on that Greyhound bus. He wanted me to meet Darren. God used my random sports knowledge as a way to connect with someone from a complete opposite walk of life as me. He wanted me to have this experience. He wanted me to be bold in my faith, and never back down from sharing it. I also gained some wisdom from talking to Darren, and listening to the things he said. I think the other things I learned and experienced are pretty self-explanatory. All I can say is that it was incredible.

We may never know the rest of the story and what happened to Darren in his post-prison life. But we do know that he is now a child of God. And we know that he has hope. If you're reading this, I don't know what you believe. Some people might not have been able to make it through to the end of this blog because of all the Jesus talk. But I think we all like a good redemption story. We don't want to see people fall back in to the same problems they had before. No, we want to see their lives change for the better. Well, Darren has been redeemed. I can't wait to see him in Heaven and hear about how his life changed, and what God did with his life in his remaining years on Earth. 

Poetry: When a Friend Passes

I scribbled out this poem in the early evening Saturday as I looked out at beautiful Lake Michigan at the beach in Wilmette. I did not take this picture, however.

Yesterday I shared my 5 thoughts for when a friend passes. This is going to be a short blog, and it is kind of a sequel to yesterday's. I really appreciate all the input I have gotten from people, and the people that have been reaching out and extending love to me. I would like to share a poem I wrote for Paul, called "A Time to Mourn."

A Time to Mourn

A time to mourn, a time to cry
At the age of 20, you never think that one of your friends might die.
Everything can change in a blink of an eye.
You never think death can take such a good guy.
I guess life starts now
And since his death, I've lost track of the amount of times I've heard the word "wow"
Yep, Paul's death put us in a state of shock.
Feeling depressed, I had to go for a walk.
It still doesn't even feel real.
Feels like yesterday we were in Stamos' basement watching Key and Peele.
Yeah, we had some good memories, Paul
Like the time you blocked me the entire football field, or when you got excited and chucked your Xbox controller against the wall.
When it came to football, you were always a beast
It's a shame that your family had to move out east
The truth is, this past year we've really missed you
And I can't imagine what you had to go through.
But you always had a knack for making us laugh and smile.
Recognizing that you're no longer with us will take a while.

Truth is, we'll always miss you and wish for one last visit.
But we'll always remember your kind and tender spirit.
Paul, you truly were a great friend
It's hard to believe that this is the end.
You were an incredible artist, I just went back and looked at all the pictures you drew.
Thanks for all the fun, the laughs, and the good times; we'll never forget you.

5 Thoughts for when a Friend Passes

Here's a picture of Paul from when he won a scholarship for his artwork.

This past Friday night, I received the very unfortunate news that Paul Bucci, a friend of mine from high school had taken his life and was no longer with us. While I was not as close to Paul as some of my friends are, Paul and I did spend a decent amount of time together in high school. Anytime our friends got together to play football, he was there. He didn't like basketball much, but sometimes he'd even play that with us too. I first met Paul sophomore year, which was the year I found my main group of friends throughout high school, whom I still see every break. Paul struck me as a goof, in the best way possible. He was goofy and absolutely hilarious. When we played football, he was a monster. He spent his freshman year playing fullback on the school team, where he would run straight at his opponents, and in many occasions, light them up. After freshman year, he hung up the cleats, joined the track and cross-country teams, and stuck to playing pick-up games with a bunch of (at the time) scrawny track kids. Paul was strong, and he could hit hard if he wanted to. But what was so interesting about him, is that all the strength he had was natural. He didn't spend his time in the gym lifting to get big like the rest of us. Nope, when Paul wasn't doing schoolwork or playing sports with us, he would spend his time doodling and creating drawings and cartoons. Paul's artwork was incredible. It earned him a scholarship, something I forgot entirely until I started looking back on his life. Why did I forget? Because Paul was so humble, he never spent his time telling people how great he was. He just was great.

As I hinted earlier, Paul was also a great character. No one will ever steal his place in my "top 10 funniest people I know" rankings. Later in this blog, I'll share some stories about him, however putting them in writing simply won't do them justice. You'd have to know Paul to appreciate Paul, and if you never did know Paul, I feel sorry for you, because you missed out on an amazing human being. On top of being "the funny guy", and even more important, Paul was a good friend. He was a very easy-going guy. If you heard that some of our friends were ever arguing about something ridiculous, you could try to guess who was arguing, but your last guess would be Paul. Paul could get along with anyone. Over the course of high school, I got to know Paul pretty well. By the time senior year rolled around, we were pretty good pals. Freshman year of college, when Paul was at University of Wisconsin-Madison, was probably when I was closest with him. Paul and became good friends, and we were able to talk to each other about any kind of troubles we might have been facing. The summer after freshman year, better known as last summer, Paul's family moved back to Pennsylvania. This robbed us of another summer with him. Some time during this past year, he deactived his Facebook account, and slowly we started to drift apart. As you grow up and enter college, it becomes more difficult to stay in touch with everybody. You can only have so many people in your life. I had hoped that Paul would make a visit this summer and we could catch-up, but sadly that wasn't the case. The last time I saw Paul was winter break freshman year, his last break when he lived here. A couple nights before he headed back to school a few of us got together for wings and chilling. When it was over, we had a little bro-hug and said our goodbyes. The thought that this was the last time we would ever see each other on this planet never crossed our minds.

These last few days have been unlike anything I have experienced before. I've learned some stuff, re-learned some stuff, and spent a lot of time journaling and writing poetry. Through it all there have been five things that have stuck out, and I would like to share them with you.

1. Nothing lasts forever.
In Ecclesiastes 3, it says that there is a time for every activity under the heavens:

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

What do we see in that text? There is a time to weep. There is a time to mourn. There is a time for death. Death is inevitable. For me, being 19 years-old, death isn't something I spend much time thinking about. After Paul's death, it felt like this is where life starts. As depressing and as messed-up as it is, death is a part of life. No one knows their time. Life could end at any point for any of us, and when it comes to life, none of us will make it out alive. I would love to think that everyone else I know will live to be 70 or 80 years-old, but that probably won't be the case. We can take care of our bodies, and keep them in tip-top shape by exercising and eating healthy, which we should do, but life could end at any moment. No one knows their time.

2. I never want to hear another suicide joke.
As somebody that has experienced depression, I cringe whenever I hear someone make dumb remarks such as, "Man, I'd rather kill myself than take that class." No you wouldn't. Any kind of "I'd rather kill myself than ____" is not funny. I see no purpose to making these statements. I cringed then, and I don't know how I'll react now. People that take their lives were suffering from an insurmountable amount of pain. They are constantly hurting, and they've hit a point where they feel like life can't get better and that they have no other way to end the pain. The pain is just too much for them to bare and they feel that they cannot keep going, so they end their lives way sooner than their lives should end, and all of the people in their lives are devastated. I know I'm hurting pretty bad right now, but I can't imagine how some of my other friends that were best friends with Paul feel, or how Paul's family feels. So you really want to keep making those jokes?

3. Take it easy on the Jesus stuff.
For those that know me or follow this blog, know that I am a very passionate Christian and probably are surprised by hearing me say this. But the truth is, Christians can do more harm than help when trying to comfort someone. I don't want to single anybody out, because this is a pretty common thing I've heard from people not just to me, but to others that are grieving the loss of a friend or a loved one. I'ts a modified version of Jeremiah 29:11, which reads "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I'll hear something along the lines of, "this is something out of our control, and it was a part of God's plan. God's got a greater plan and while we might not understand it now or ever, this is just a part of his plan." Wrong.

God does have plans for us if we choose to follow Him. But it never was God's plan for Paul to take his life. This whole spiel makes God sound like some kind of sadistic sicko. God NEVER wanted Paul to kill himself. That wasn't his plan. It's never his plan for something like that to happen. But we live in a broken world, and things like this do happen. That's not to say that God can't work in terrible circumstances (Romans 8:28- "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."), but God doesn't create those circumstances.

The last thing somebody that is mourning wants to hear is that it was a part of God's plan. It only makes you angry and if somebody isn't a Christian, it can really turn them off to Christianity for the reasons I've listed earlier. If you want to help somebody who is mourning, the best thing you can do is just be there for them, and be present. One of the things that has helped me the most is the encouragement and love I've received from friends. The people that just talk to me, and be with me, and will talk about whatever I need to talk about. Maybe we'll talk about something completely unrelated to Paul's passing, but if you want to help someone, the best thing you can do is offer them your friendship and prayer. Hearing that I have friends praying for me makes me feel loved. Perhaps you can send the person a Bible verse or two, but again, take it easy on that stuff. Let them come to grips with what they are dealing with, and if they want to talk about that stuff, they will.

4. It makes our other problems seem so small.
The previous things that had been burdening me completely faded away after hearing about the passing of Paul. We all have troubles. It's a part of life. But after working a twelve hour shift yesterday at my job, that was one of the hardest tasks I've ever had to do. Working when I'm feeling sick now seems incredibly easy. The daily problems I might have now feel like nothing. That's not to say that I won't still have little troubles, or that we should completely ignore those things. I like to ask my friends a lot how I can be praying for them. A lot of the time a response I'll get from people is "I'm good, thanks." Looking at things with this new perspective, I can completely understand why people might say that now. It's because they don't want to be a "prayer hog" and waste God's time on something that might not seem as important as other tragedies that are going on in the world today. We still should pray for the little things and we all have things that need to be prayed for, and you any time spent with God is never a waste. But I can at least understand it now.

I guess the main point here is that we might stress over smaller things, but we don't realize how good we have it. I am in good health, I have an amazing family and the greatest friends in the world. I am extremely blessed. Sometimes we just need to be grateful for the things we have, and look around and appreciate them while they're here, because we don't know when they might leave us.

5. There is a time to mourn. 
Going back to the Bible passage I discussed in point number one, there is a time for everything. There's a time to mourn. Losing a friend isn't the type of thing that you can just get over by watching Netflix, eating ice cream and hanging out with friends. No, it might not be a quick fix. I don't know how long it will take until things feel "normal" again, or if they ever will, because I've never coped with something like this before. But it's okay to be sad. A terrible thing has happened.

But the thing that has helped me the most is to take a moment and think about all the good times we had with Paul. One of my closest friends, who was also one of Paul's closest friends, came over on Sunday. We shared some of our favorite Paul memories. I went through and reread all my Facebook conversations I had with him and when I did both those things, I spent a lot of time laughing. One time when we played football, Paul was blocking me on the play. He certainly was stronger than me, and he decided to keep pushing me backwards, while making funny grunting noises. He was on a mission. He started blocking me further and further away from the play, meanwhile the whole time I was laughing. I probably could have maneuvered around him, but it was just too funny. He ended up blocking me in to the end zone, and then out of the end zone, even though there was no touchdown on the play. I can't do it justice in writing, you had to have seen it. Paul had a lot of funny moments like that when we played sports. One time he was at another friend's house, playing NHL on his Xbox, and he scored a goal. He got so excited that he chucked his controller against the wall. Paul had his funny, goofy moments like this that cannot be replicated in writing. But the more I look back on the good times we shared, and the funny things Paul did, the more I smile, laugh and appreciate those times. It still is a tragedy, and we are all still coping with the loss, but maybe these kind of stories can give us the laughter, happiness, and hope we need to get out of this tunnel of darkness. I'm happy that the good times happened, even though they had to come to a very abrupt ending. Thanks for all the memories Paul, we miss you so much.



PS I thought I would show a picture of a shirt that Paul created for one of our friends, Ian Feeney.

He truly was a great artist, and he was even working on a logo for Viva La Vita. Sadly we'll never see it. I may make a lot of friends and meet a lot of people in my life, but I will never meet another Paul Bucci. Rest in peace, my friend.

Top 10 Survivor Players of All-Time

Last week, robhasawebsite.com revealed the results of their top 20 players of Survivor poll. Listeners to the podcast were asked to fill out a ballot with their top 10, The votes were counted up on a point scale, and then we were given our results. While I forgot to vote, I thought this would be a good topic to write about in the Survivor off-season, as a passionate Survivor super-fan. In case you missed it, here is a list of the top 20:

20) Chris Daugherty (Winner Vanuatu)
19) Amanda Kimmel (Runner-up China, Micronesia; Heroes vs. Villains)
18) Tom Westman (Winner, Palau; Heroes vs. Villains)
17) Ozzy Lusth (Runner-up Cook Islands; Micronesia, South Pacific)
16) Brian Heidik (Winner Thailand)
15) Malcolm Freberg (Philippines, Caramoan)
14) John Cochran (South Pacific, Winner Caramoan)
13) Spencer Bledsoe (Cagayan)
12) Tyson Apostol (Tocantins, Heroes vs. Villains, Winner Blood vs. Water)
11) Yul Kwon (Winner Cook Islands)
10) Todd Herzog (Winner China)
9) Russell Hantz (Runner-up Samoa, Heroes vs. Villains; Redemption Island)
8) Tony Vlachos (Winner Cagayan)
7) Cirie Fields (Panama, Micronesia, Heroes vs. Villains)
6) Rob Cesternino (Amazon, All-Stars)
5) Richard Hatch (Winner Borneo; All-Stars)
4) Kim Spradlin (Winner One World)
3) Sandra Diaz-Twine (Winner Pearl Islands, Heroes vs. Villains)
2) "Boston" Rob Mariano (Marquesas, Runner-up All-Stars, Heroes vs. Villains, Winner Redemption Island)
1) Parvati Shallow (Cook Islands, Winner Micronesia, Runner-up Heroes vs. Villains)

So that's our top 20 players of Survivor. Or so they say. If you would like to see the full list, here it is.

I think there are a lot of things wrong with this list. I can't say that I spent an immense amount of time researching this, and picking a list of the top 10 is not an easy task. So here is my (subject to change) late ballot:

10) Ethan Zohn (Winner, Africa; Returned for Survivor: All-Stars)
Ethan needs to be on any top 10 Survivor players list. In the show's third season, Ethan proved that good guys don't always finish last and that there is an ethical way to win Survivor. Also, very few winners, if any, have done more good things outside of the game. Ethan has defeated cancer twice, and created the non-profit charitable organization Grassroot Soccer. He also returned in All-Stars and showed that he's more strategic and savvy than he was credited his first time out. While Ethan may not have made the merge in All-Stars, baring too big a target on his back, he has emerged not only a winner in the game of Survivor, but a winner in the game of life.

9) Chris Daugherty (Winner, Vanuatu)
Never has a winner had a better come-from-behind victory. Chris was all but gone at the final seven, when he was the only man remaining up against an all-female alliance of six. With his back against the wall, Chris turned the women against each other and flipped the game upside down. The underdog ended up winning in one of the craziest, least-expected ways. It's a shame Chris hasn't been asked back, but his cult following continues to grow and number 9 is a fair spot for him on this list.

8) Kim Spradlin (Winner, One World)
Another one-time player, but a one-time winner takes the next spot on our top ten list. Kim played one of the most dominant games in the history of the show. Kim did what Chris Daugherty kept women from doing in his season, and that was eliminating the men at the merge. Once she took out her biggest threat Troyzan, she created a pretty clear path for herself to the end by keeping everyone in check and making them think she was going to take them to the end. One by one, she sent them home, but she did it with a smile and didn't take too much heat from the jury and still won her season in a commanding fashion. While One World was one of my least favorite seasons of the show, and widely viewed as one of the worst, one good thing came of it: a great and deserving winner. Kim will probably get asked back to play again, and I'm really intrigued to see how she does if she accepts.

7) Tom Westman (Winner, Palau; Returned for Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains)
In baseball, if you keep all 27 batters you face in a game from reaching first base, you've thrown a perfect game. In Survivor, if there is any model for a perfect game, it's the game Tom Westman played. As the tribe leader, Tom's tribe never lost an immunity challenge and decimated the opposing tribe until their was only one sole contestant or "survivor" left. After the merge, Tom easily stayed in the majority, and won, playing an honest game with integrity. He was a rare triple-threat. A player who was a threat strategically, socially and physically. He was a challenge beast who even caught a shark for his tribe to eat.

6) Cirie Fields (Panama, Micronesia, Heroes vs. Villains)
Aside from being one of the most entertaining players and one of the best confessional-givers, Cirie is one of the best Survivor players ever. When Cirie first set foot on the beach in Panama, she was a fish out of water. She was afraid of leaves. Needless to say, she was far from an outdoors person. In both of her first two tries on the show, Cirie was on the outs. Other people had formed alliances at the very beginning and she was on the outside looking in. But both times, she somehow managed to make it to the end, and both times she came within a challenge win of being a champion. A brilliant social player, and a ruthless strategist, Cirie came so close to being a two-time winner. Unfortunately, her tribemates on the Heroes tribe were smart enough to get rid of her at the beginning, and keep her from going on another run. It truly is unfortunate that Cirie isn't a winner, but she is entirely deserving of being the second greatest female player in the show's history, in my opinion.

5) Rob Cesternino (Amazon, All-Stars)
"The Rob that sucks" might not quite be up to the skill-level of Boston Rob Mariano. But he did earn himself from Jeff Probst, who once called him "the smartest/best player to never win", and revolutionized the game. Watching Rob play both sides in one of the best seasons of all-time was something spectacular. What he did had never been done before. Rob's ability to adapt to whatever was thrown his way made him a very special player. Jenna Morasca is a great winner, and one of my favorite people to play Survivor, but with all do respect to her, Rob was the best player on his season. It was hard to watch him come so close. It was even harder to watch Rob have his hopes and dreams crushed early on in All-Stars. But ignore what happened on that season. Rob had too big a target, and players such as him and Richard Hatch had no realistic chance at getting anywhere close to the merge in that game. Cirie and Rob are very similar players and while Cirie has mastered her way to the final four twice, Rob did it first, and I think his first game was more impressive than either of Cirie's first two tries. Sorry Cirie, but for those reasons, Rob C gets the nod as a top 5 Survivor player of all-time.

4) Brian Heidik (Winner, Thailand)
Say what you want about Brian Heidik's life outside of the game of Survivor. But in the game of Survivor, Brian Heidik played one of the most impressive games we have ever seen. Never before had anyone been able to fake a personality for an entire season, and it hasn't happened since. Brian put on a front as a good guy, and thrived socially. But on the inside, Brian was a cold-blooded killer and one of the most despicable villains. His ability to keep his composure and stay cool about whatever was happening impressed many, including myself. "The Iceman" was also a triple-threat and a beast in the challenges. If Brian were to have played again in All-Stars or Fans vs. Favorites, he would have likely been the first boot. Anybody that has seen him play would not let him stay a day on the island. However, if he never went on Thailand, and had played on a different season instead, I think he would repeat his success. If he was brought back to play again now, he might actually go deep in the game because a lot of newer players might not know anything about him. These are all hypothetical situations, as there's no chance in the world that CBS brings him back. Heidik earns the highest spot from a player that hasn't played more than once.

3) Richard Hatch (Winner, Borneo; Returned for Survivor: All-Stars)
Richard Hatch is probably the most polarizing player to be on this list. For years, I was in the school of thought that he wasn't that great. Many argue that he was a man among boys playing on the first ever season of Survivor and that he was the only real player on his season. But that's not the case. I rewatched Borneo last summer and realized something. Everybody that played on that season was playing the game. There were 16 different ways to play Survivor. Richard's way got him to the end, and garnered four votes from the jury to win. People decided that since this one the game, this is the necessary blueprint for any player on any season. Nowadays, you have no shot of getting anywhere without an alliance. Richard invented that concept, and players in future seasons tried to replicate his success. As mentioned earlier, on All-Stars, Hatch had absolutely no shot of getting anywhere. Everyone wanted to dethrone the king of Survivor. At this point, after 28 seasons of Survivor, there have been so many people that are threats on the show, that it would be interesting to bring back people like Hatch, Cesternino, Heidik, and more and see what would happen. It's a darn shame that Hatch was still under house arrest when Heroes vs. Villains was shooting, because he would have been a great addition to the cast. I bet Hatch will play again by the time it's all said and done, but even if he doesn't, he has earned his spot in the Survivor Hall of Fame by being an inventor and making the game what it is.

2) "Boston" Rob Mariano (Marquesas, Runner-up All-Stars; Heroes vs. Villains, Winner Redemption Island)
I'll never forget watching the first episode of Survivor: Marquesas back in 2002. I remember Sarah Jones floating on the raft while her tribemates rowed, and Sean Rector calling her Cleopatra. And I remember a 25 year-old kid with a thick Boston accent making my parents and I laugh whenever he was on screen. From the second we saw Boston Rob, we loved him. While "The Robfather" was voted out right at the merge, he changed the season. He showed all the people on the bottom that they were on the bottom, and after he was booted, those people flipped the game upside down. That was the first time in the show's history where one tribe didn't pick off the other tribe one-by-one. On his second time out, Rob played an aggressive, angry game. He was a man on a mission. He got all the way to the end, but offended too many and quite frankly treated some of the people he put on the jury like garbage. Some argue that he should have still won this season, but I disagree. He still made history by having the first showmance that led to marriage and he and Amber now have four daughters. In his third try, Rob learned from his mistakes. He had a lot more patience, and had a much better social game. He positioned himself perfectly, however what I call "the worst move in the history of the show" was made by Tyson and spoiled his season. Finally, Rob got his win on Redemption Island, where he dominated the game unlike any other. While it may not have been a flawless game like Tom Westman's, it was a brilliantly executed strategic game. Each time Rob played, he elevated his game to a whole 'nother level. He has become the most-feared player in the show's history. But Boston Rob might even be a more polarizing player than Richard Hatch. Many will point to his failures on the show and say he's overrated and that it's lame that it took him four tries to finally win. But I disagree with them. There's a lot of luck that's involved in Survivor. There are a lot of things that are not in your control. Rob had really bad luck two of the times he played. We could play the what-if game, but there wasn't too much that he could have done differently that would have changed his fate. His other two times playing the game, he went to the finals. He was one vote away from being a two-time winner. One of my favorite things with watching Rob play is watching him grow up and like I said before, how he improved himself each time he played. He adjusted himself and was able to adapt to whatever came his way. We all watched him grow up while he played. I think a guy like Malcolm Freberg could become the next Boston Rob. He has the same kind of skill-set and could become a legend with some age and more experience. Some players that have played with "BR" have also seemed to improve after playing with them (take a look at Tyson, Andrea, Coach, and dare I say Phillip). Rob is also in my opinion the greatest challenge competitor ever, however there's still one player better than him in my book.

1) Sandra Diaz-Twine (Only 2x Winner, Pearl Islands, Heroes vs. Villains)
There's no way that anybody can top Sandra in any type of best Survivor players argument. Sandra has played twice. She has also won twice. She is the only player to win more than once, and not only that but she's got a 1.000 winning percentage in her time on the show. That's unbelievable! Trash her social game all you want. She may be a big talker, but it hasn't made her lose votes. I get mad when people try to take away from her win in Heroes vs. Villains. She tried so hard to get the Heroes to flip the game and take Russell out, but nobody would budge. So she did the next best thing, got to the end, and said "see?". The other thing Sandra will get trashed for is that she's not good challenges. That hasn't gotten her voted out before the merge and when she's gotten to the merge, that's something that can work to help you because nobody is taking you as a threat. Sandra is a bonafide boss when it comes to the game of Survivor. I have no idea if she will ever play again and how that would shake out. I could really see it going either way with her. She could get targeted because she's the best player ever, the only two-time winner, and a bunch of selfish players could try to take her out to kill all the hype surrounding her (much like Richard Hatch). Or she could be overlooked yet again, and go for a three-peat. I don't know, but whatever were to happen if she played again, I don't think she could do much to actually hurt her spot as the best player ever. By winning and making another great run, she could solidify it, even if it means losing in the final five and no longer having a 1.000 win percentage. Unless she did something very costly and did something outrageously dumb, she would keep her spot as the best player ever. The only way for there to be a discussion over who's better than Sandra is if somebody else wins again. And even then, that person might have already lost in a previous attempt, or it could be somebody playing an all-winner season where a winner is bound to win, both would leave a wrinkle on that player's case. It's a mystery if Sandra will keep her spot as the best player ever when it's all said and done, but if you were pointing a gun to my head, I'd say that no one will top her.


So that's my list! I'm sure there will be some outcry from the Parvati and Russell fans, but hey, I'd love to hear your case for why they should be on this list. Leave a comment below, tweet me @vellvita7 or hit me up on our Facebook fan page!

Poetry: Changes

Something I like to do as a blogger and an aspiring journalist is to push myself to try new things. Try to step my game up. Kind of like how Kobe Bryant, a perimeter, spent the summer after the Lakers won a title in 2009 working on his low-post game with a Hall of Famer and a top 5 big man of all-time in Hakeem Olajuwon. I tried my best to try to make that last sentence make sense to people that don't follow sports, but I probably still failed. Oh well. Anyway, I want to add more weaponry to my arsenal. I want to try new things, acquire new skills, and test myself for my own good. Who knows what might come out of it? Anyway, I recently have taken an interest in writing poetry. Poetry is a great way to take the thoughts you can't get out of your head, put them in to paper, and hopefully make them sound beautiful.

Something that I always struggle with is change. I never want things to change, and I always miss the way my life used to be, instead of being grateful for the life I currently have. A couple nights ago I wrote a poem called "Changes". I have no idea how good it is or how I did. Maybe it sucked. But I would love to get some feedback on this poem, as well as the blog. Would you like to see more poetry on here? What do you guys want to see? Here it goes:

Changes

Why can't I ever take my mind off the past?
The greatest times of my life will never last.
Sometimes it feels like I've hit my peak
And that I will never go on another winning streak.
As much as I might win, I have also lost
Because growing and having new experiences comes with a cost.
Moving out of the old and into the new
Oftentimes has me feeling very blue.
Sometimes I wish I could have it all back
My friends, my high school, my hometown, and nothing to pack.

But that's not my ultimate goal
Instead it's for God to purify my soul.
See this world is just a temporary place.
Life's going to change, it's a part of the race.
But while life will come with its alterations
One thing that will never need a modification is my salvation.
God has called me "MINE"
Long before he turned water to wine.
He's told me that he has a plan
A plan far too great for myself, a fallen man.

While it may be hard to say goodbyes and to let go
God's got better things for me, better than what I know.
So when I start getting sentimental
I need to remember that this skin and bones is only a rental.
When it's all said and done,
My Heavenly father will call me his son.
Life will come with it's changes and scares
But there's comfort in knowing God will never change, he loves you and he still cares.