Problem is, I don't always love answering these questions or talking about Graves' a ton. Sometimes when I talk or think about it a lot, it leads me to feeling negative and bummed out, unhappy with my current circumstances, which is ridiculous because though this is a minor speed bump for right now, I have things pretty great.
So I figured now with some downtime during Thanksgiving break, I would share with all that are curious what is going on.
Graves' disease is an illness that accelerates the thyroid gland to work overtime, and in turn creates some problems for the rest of the body, including weight loss, headaches, stomach aches and dizziness, problems sleeping, fatigue, anxiety, sore throats and more. All of these are symptoms I have been experiencing to an extent since some time in July.
Initially, I wrote off my symptoms as anything significant. I thought I was probably just stressed about going back to school and that as a result I had had some problems sleeping and eating well which created these problems.
After dropping close to 35 pounds over a two-month span and having nagging headaches and tiredness that was keeping me from getting to my classes every day, I knew it was time to talk to a doctor and get a check-up. What I soon discovered was that I had an overactive thyroid which was sending messages to my heart to work harder as well. I was averaging a heartbeat of at least 130 beats per minute. It didn't take much for my heart to start pounding like a bongo. Walking longer-than-short distances and going up 2+ plights of stairs is enough to have me out of breath. Nevertheless, exercise is off the table for the time being.
What I soon found out though was just how common thyroid problems are. As I started to explain to people around me what my problem was, it seemed that a large percentage of people I talked to knew someone who either had an over or underactive thyroid gland. Not only were thyroid problems common, but they can be easily treated with medication.
I got started on two different medications (one for my thyroid, one for my heart) at the end of September. A few weeks later, I had a bad allergic reaction to the thyroid medication which spelled skin irritation and bad body aches for the next two weeks. One night it felt like both my wrists were broken. Nothing was wrong, I just had to stop taking the meds and wait for them to work their way out of my system. This proved to be a minor setback, as I went an entire week without any thyroid medication, bringing back the intensity of some of the problems I have been having.
I got started on a new medication for my thyroid nearly four weeks ago and have seen some results. I've gained 12 pounds since my initial diagnosis. Also, seven or eight weeks on my heart medication has brought down my heartbeat to under-100! The number of headaches I get has gone down significantly, but the headaches and tiredness is still very present. And I still have trouble doing a large sum of walking.
But the best improvement I've seen isn't something that can be measured by any unit, nor is it something that can be directly correlated to my medication dosage. The best improvement I've seen is an improvement of something I've dealt with while feeling 100% fine physically. The greatest improvement I've seen is my level of anxiety at an all-time low.
I've dealt with anxiety since I was a teenager and as we learned, Graves' only increases anxiety. Yet, I know that this trial that Graves' has provided has only increased my trust in God. It's been something that I've allowed God to work through and use to improve me as his son.
Being on the sidelines for the last few months, no doubt I've been limited physically. Initially it was very hard for me. I missed playing sports. But I decided early on that I wanted to make the most out of my time on the couch. So I started spending more time in God's word and just praying. I knew God is the only thing that could and would bring me through this. Often times we make excuses for why we don't give God the time he deserves; now I was out of excuses.
Next I decided to spend more time writing poetry. It feels good to create something artistically and do something productive. One poem after another and I decided it was time for me to start learning guitar. As I learn guitar and continue to write poetry, I now have new ways to praise God and give him glory. This has been a much better experience than one might think it would be.
And through it all, God has taken away my worry. A thought God has recently put on my heart is as follows: If I do all that God wants me to do, then what the heck do I have to worry about? In other words, if I'm obeying God and keeping his commands, then why spend my time worrying about anything else? God pieces the rest of the messy puzzle together for us if we let him and give him full control.
While a medical diagnosis that brings problems such as these might freak one out, I'm feeling relaxed and I'm holding on to God's promises. And maybe, just maybe, this what God's needed for me to continue to grow in his word and his truth, and to give him all that I've got.
PS- Graves' can go away in time with the help of medications or stay with a person for a long time- either way I know that eventually the medications will bring me back to normal. It won't be too long until I'm feeling normal again!
PPS- Thank you to everybody for the prayer, care and support. I very much appreciate the love and understand why you may ask what's going on. This blog was my hope to keep everyone up to speed with what's going on, and I will continue to keep you in the loop.
PPPS- I'll let my favorite band Relient K play us out with one of their great but overlooked songs- I'm on the up and up.
