I will be the first to admit that coming home, for the first month of my summer, my faith felt "automatic." It has felt like I have just been going through the motions. Sometimes I feel like I have already done a lot and that I have earned a spot as a "good" Christian and that I can do what I want. Sometimes there are days where it is hard for me to follow Jesus, even though I send out a Bible verse text to people each day.
Lately I have become aware of my own pride. God has really provided a lot for me this summer, specifically with my internship. Sometimes I look at the opportunities that God has so graciously given to me and think, "Well, I've arrived." "Look at how great I am." And then I get wrapped up in myself, thinking about what's next for me. But it shouldn't be "what's next for me?" It should be "what's next for God?"
Up until recently, I hadn't been making time for God. It is a weird feeling that I am sure a lot of you can relate to. Chances are that if you are still reading this blog, you have had some kind of interaction with God; some kind of spiritual high. And the high points of your spiritual journey are why you choose to follow Jesus. You currently or have once had a desire to grow closer to Jesus, have had a hunger for God's word, and a need to pray every day. But sometimes we stray away, and have little-to-no desire to do these things. Like I said, it's a weird feeling. You know there is something wrong with that picture. You feel like there is something missing inside of you. You don't feel at peace. And you don't know what to do.
Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that in the summer there tends to be less stress. Maybe it is easier to cling to Jesus when things are going bad, but when things are going good we act like we're fine.
Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that in the summer there tends to be less stress. Maybe it is easier to cling to Jesus when things are going bad, but when things are going good we act like we're fine.
I know because I have recently been feeling all of these things. Until lately. I recently reminded myself of something I heard from one of my youth group leaders when I was in high school. Oftentimes, we have spiritual highs, and we fall away from them. And then we fall in to a mindset of looking back on where we were spiritually. How great it was. And I will never forget these words: "If you drive a car, you can look in to the rear-view mirror to help yourself drive. But if you stare in to that rear-view mirror for too long, you are eventually going to crash." Instead of looking back, look forward. Have a mentality of "How can I be more like Jesus today?" Use his life as a model and the Bible as a playbook to your life.
What does that look like practically? If you haven't been able to connect with God, try to set aside time to do that. Maybe go to a special location for this. Go for a hike, or look out on to a lake, admire his beautiful creation and just open up that Bible, and open up your heart. Talk to God. Talk out-loud if you have to. Ask him for help. Just be open and genuine. Say what is on your heart and ask him to reignite your spirit. Set aside time for him. Try to keep doing it every day, and then guess what happens eventually? It becomes an addiction. A healthy addiction. God gives you joy and peace over everything. Once again you realize it is something that you cannot live without. That's when you start to see growth.
Something else I should add is the importance of Christian community. At school, a lot of my friends are strong believers, and I basically live with them. I am with them everyday. Coming home, I do not have the same kind of people pushing me to grow on a daily basis. So how do we fix that? Find a Bible study! If your church doesn't have a Bible study for people in your age range, then try to start your own. This past week, some friends of mine and I started our own weekly Bible study. After one week, I can say that it has been a huge success and an incredible blessing to me. This race wasn't made for us to do on our own. God has provided us with brothers and sisters to run along side us, and to help us when we need it. Seek out that Christian community. (And if you live near me, talk to me! We would love to have you!)
While this summer did not get off to a great start for me, this past week has been amazing. Externally, everything around me has stayed the same. But internally, God has been filling me with joy day in and day out, each day getting better. I cannot wait to see what is next.
So those are just some of my thoughts. If you are going through a dry season right now and you would like to talk about, I am here to help and I would love to pray for you. Thank you for reading, and have a blessed day!
