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| Definitely the best picture I took in 2013- enjoy! |
It's been a long time since I last wrote a blog. Like, way too long. There have been times where I start writing an article, don't have time to finish, and then end up having to scrap it. January was a very busy month with J-term, and the past couple of weeks have been hectic with the new semester starting up. Something I would like to do is to try to write one article per week. There are no promises or guarantees, but it's been a long time since some of you have heard from me, and I owe it to the faithful readers of Viva La Vita to give 'em my thoughts. An article I started to write was a reflection on the year of 2013, taking a look back at what I have learned, what God has taught me, and what I might want to change this next year of my life. Now I know that it is the middle of February now, and New Years was a good six weeks ago, but this is something I really did want to write about, and I think a lot of stuff that I have to say and that I took away from the past year are things that are still applicable now, and things people can relate to right now. So here it goes.
2013 was a very strange year in my life. It might have been the most challenging year of my life. It started back in January (obviously). I was nearing the end of winter break. I had just finished my first semester of college at Oakton Community College, where I took just one class. I was getting ready for this new semester, where I was going to take a bunch of classes and do good. But something weird happened. There was a glitch in the system and a hold on my online account that wouldn't allow me to register for courses until the day classes started. I decided I would take a semester off and find a job. In the back of my mind though, I was thinking, "man, this is going to be sweet. An entire semester of no school? I can pretty much do whatever I want and just take it easy."
After about a month of just taking it easy, sleeping in late, playing Xbox and listening to Jim Rome and other sports radio all day long, I came to the shocking realization that life isn't about just taking it easy. God didn't create me to just sit around all day and do nothing. He created me to do work. He created me to serve him in all that I do. It was time to start working hard, and to actually find a job. Colossians 3:23-24 reads, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."
Looking at things with a new perspective, I went out and searched for a job. I tried my best to find a job. And nothing came up. Around this time, I started writing this blog. And in writing this blog, I discovered my love for writing. I figured out what I want to do for the rest of my life, and that is to be a writer/journalist.
Finally, I found a job and was hired to work at the local Jewel-Osco. Within the first two weeks, I had multiple encounters with an associate manager who verbally abused me, and in one situation put me in physical danger. I won't go in to details. But after two weeks, I was no longer working there.
That's the type of year I had. In 2013, I had a lot of struggles. I had that terrible work encounter, and then I didn't have a summer job. I had a lot of disappointments. I had some people that I had considered to be really close friends of mine, go off to college and stop talking and stop responding to me. That was pretty painful for me.
I then had an opportunity to attend Carthage College, and then presented its own challenges. Over my first semester, I had a lot of struggles adapting to the new college life. A lot of those struggles will go unmentioned. I had a really hard time socially at the beginning, and I had a lot of trouble finding my niche.
I had talked earlier about how I was going to work hard all the time, but when I got to Carthage I retreated back to old habits. When things got tough, I hid. And I looked for things to blame. But it was no one else's fault. It was my own and I had gotten myself in to my own funk that I would have to dig myself out of.
In December, I received my first semester grades. The results were very underwhelming. I was so disappointed in myself. I thought about what kind of sacrifices my parents were making to pay for my education. How my mom was taking more and more hours so that I could succeed. But I wasn't succeeding. I looked at my grades, and just said, "this has gotta change."
So what did I learn about myself? I learned how lazy I am. How selfish I am. How I need to work harder. How I am so stubborn. How much of a sinner I am.
These are all things that I need to ask God to help me with, and to take from me. And he's doing that. During J-term, I was pushed to my limits. One week I had back-to-back nights where I got a combined 8 hours of sleep between the two nights. I had a final, a test, a project, a seven page paper, and countless homework assignments. It was exhausting. But I could feel Jesus carrying me through it all. I didn't feel tired at all. He just kept giving me the strength and the energy to keep going. The result? I got my first A in a class since my sophomore year of high school.
You see, when I was a junior in high school I fell in to a dark time of depression. God pulled me out of it amazingly, and over the past three years he's filled me with so much unspeakable joy. Joy, that is so much greater than anything this world can offer me. But when I was depressed, it was a struggle just to pass my classes. Senior year I had the worst case of "senioritis" imaginable, and when I was depressed I really held myself to lower standards. I didn't think I could ever get back to working hard and being a good student. I decided to settle for mediocrity. But God has bigger plans for me.
You can look back and point out all of the things that went wrong in the year of 2013. I could do that. But those things that hindered me, and tried me, and stretched me to my limits were really for my own good. In those times, I turned to Jesus, and he grew me closer to him. This past year I have grown closer to him than I ever have before.
It's important to mention the good things that came from 2013. In 2013, I figured out what I want to do with my life. While I might have lost some "friends", I also grew closer to many friends. I made a lot of new friends. Some of the best friends I have in my life now I: a) didn't know last year b) didn't talk to last year c) didn't know until senior year. And those are some of my BEST friends.
Another lesson I learned was about comfort. Here's something I posted on my Facebook account the other night: "Late night thoughts as I try to get to sleep: so much of my life I've spent trying to make myself more comfortable and not step out of my comfort zone. I've oftentimes missed what my life was and wished to have it back. But the thing is that's not what I'm living for and this life isn't about comfort. This world is just our temporary home. My life shouldn't be about myself, but serving God and trusting him in my times of discomfort. There will be plenty of time for comfort in Heaven."
Perhaps the thing I am proudest of that God has done in my life this past year is the Daily Bible Verse Text Club. Perhaps you've heard my ramblings about it on Facebook. Basically what happened the second week of school or so, a really close friend of mine sent me a Snapchat saying something about school being hard; something along those lines. I then texted her all of Psalm 121, and told her I was praying for her. She was so grateful for the passage and requested that I send her more scripture. So we decided that I would send her a verse everyday. When I started doing this for her, I started telling a bunch of my friends about it, seeing if anyone else would like to receive the texts. I then started posting about in on Facebook. Now, there are 70 people that are getting Bible verses from me each day. I never thought God could use me like this to extend his word to others, and it truly has been a blessing.
God just keeps blessing me every single day. It reminds me that only Jesus can. Only he can take care of all the things I spend so much time worrying about. Only he can free me from my sin. Only he can bring joy to me and satisfy me deeply.
So here's to 2014. I would love for 2014 to be the most fun year ever. But if it isn't, that's okay. Because no matter what happens, I just want God to be glorified. I'm hoping I can continue to grow, as I strive to be a godly MAN. If that means more trials, then bring it!
