I got off the train as quickly as I could. I fast-walked out to the front of the station, awaiting to be picked up and taken back to my house. By the time I got back to my house, I had already packed up my stuff and threw it in the back of the trunk of my parents' Honda Pilot that I was going to be using for the next 24 hours. That's right, I was headed up to Carthage for a semi-weekend of surprising friends and catching up.
After a grueling five weeks of school at my new home in Valparaiso, I could not wait to return to the place that I was in a rush to get away from. As the old saying goes, "you truly don't know what you've got till it's gone."
Without a doubt, I made the right decision to transfer. I have already learned a great amount about communications, journalism, and the kind of work that I want to do in the future. I have been provided with a lot of amazing opportunities. I am currently the beat-writer for a Division I soccer team that has beheaded both the #18 and #23 teams in the nation and has a strong chance to make it to the NCAA Tournament. I get to host a weekly sports radio show. I also have gotten experience doing color commentary for Valparaiso athletic events. These kind of opportunities are not available at a DIII liberal arts school.
While I certainly have a lot looking up for me, there is one thing that has caught me by surprise, and while it hasn't crippled me, it has slowed me down. After being at Valparaiso for six weeks, I have had very little social activity. The people that know me would tell you that I am an extremely outgoing person and in some ways, I thrive off of being around other people. That's what makes being on my own so hard.
So here I am, rushing up to Kenosha, the place I so desperately wanted to run away from. I'm eager to be around people again. At times I feel like I let something amazing slip right through my fingers- the community I had around me. While I was appreciative of the friends I had when I was at Carthage, it took being at a new school in a new town for me to realize just how wealthy I was in the economy of love.
Fast forward, and it's Saturday night. I show up at a party at my friends' house. In a group of 30-40, only a select few know that I am in Kenosha. I start walking in and people start clapping and cheering, almost like they were chanting my name. I'm being met with devouring hugs. I'm being told how much I have been missed, and that "Carthage isn't the same" without me. I have a blast at the party and then over the next 24 hours I meet up with more friends and run in to more people on the streets that are giving me the same kind of love.
That night, as I crashed in my buddy Evan's dorm room, I could not sleep for the life of me. I just kept thinking about what a good thing I had going for me. I kept contrasting it to the endless hours that I have spent sitting in my dorm at Valpo watching TV and movies by myself. I started questioning my decision. Did I do the right thing in leaving? Could I somehow come back to this, even after transferring, and would that be a good decision?
I was unsuccessful in putting these thoughts to rest. It wasn't until the next morning in church, where I sat in my pew tearing up, did I start to realize something. I was called by God to go to Valparaiso. He brought me here. He told me it was time to leave. If he wanted me to go here, he clearly has something huge in store for me. I find comfort in knowing that.
But not only that. As the day progressed, I started to think about how all of this in life is just temporary- it's not eternal. Let's say that I had stayed at Carthage. Two years from now, all of the friends I had made, as well as myself, would all be going in different directions. I would have to start over someplace new anyway. Either way, I was only going to be at Carthage for a short time. Whether it was two years or four years doesn't really make a difference. It's just a location.
I need to stop putting my hope in others and in situations that I am in. Why put my hope in something that may change? Why not put it in the one thing that never changes?
This life is very short and everything can change in a heartbeat. But God stays the same. He was the same God two months ago that he is today, and will be tomorrow. All of the places where life takes us are just stops. They are temporary homes.
We will never truly be at home until the day we see Christ face-to-face and walk by his side in Heaven. And you know who else will be there? All of my friends at Carthage that love the Lord. Whether I see them next month or I don't see them again on this earth, ultimately does not matter. Would it be great to see them again? Without a doubt. But if for whatever reason it isn't in the cards, we will have an eternity in Heaven together with our amazing Savior.
Ever since this started to click for me, I've felt a little bit better. Honestly, it still is something that is on my mind, and it is difficult being here by myself. But at the same time, I am not by myself! I have Jesus with me, and that's more than enough for me.
God has put me in to a new situation and I just need to trust him. I need to stop worrying about the little things. In Matthew 6:34, we are told to not worry about tomorrow. Just focus on today.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
So as I move forward in to this new chapter of my life, I pray that God provides meaningful friendships. But regardless of what does and does not come my way, all that matters is I try my best to serve him and one day I will here the words "Well done, good and faithful servant."
Carthage was a temporary home. New Trier High School was a temporary home. Christian Heritage Academy was a temporary home. And now Valparaiso University is my temporary home.
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